The Mitchell's and L/N vs. the Machines

On the road

While it is a tight squeeze, I let Aaron have the other window seat so I can sit next to Katie. Even after my encouraging words, she still looks a bit down having her excitement about arriving at college today when she has to wait a bit longer.

Even with me sitting next to her, I can see this hasn't made a positive difference. Not far into the ride, she even pulled out her notebook, adding details on the page of the two of us going to college, and meeting our new friends face to face. Dad doesn't take notice of Katie's despair and chuckles. "Ah, smell that opened road." He then leans into his seat, showing he's talking to us. "See, this isn't so bad." Katie just sighs and plops her head on my shoulder, to which I rub in comfort.

"You know, the Poseys' are on vacation right now, and look how happy they are." Mom informs us as she squints at her phone, she plays a video of said family in a namaste position. "Family yoga break." The woman announces happily, and the whole family starts laughing.

"Why are you so obsessed with the Poseys? They're just neighbors." Aaron points out while using a dino stick. Mom sighs and leans on her seat, a sad look adorning her face. They're just so perfect. I mean, even their dog is in better shape than ours." She shows a video of the neighbor's dog doing pushups, showing his buff body. Monch whimperers and gets on my lap, obviously intimidated as much as I am. "What are they feeding that thing, other dogs?" Mom wonders aloud.

"Lin, don't worry about them." Dad shrugs it off. "Look at them. They're jealous of us. Right, girls?" He laughs in amusement. "I see you moping back there, but what at your college could be better than this?" Katie and my phones buzz, causing us to open them and see one of our friends recording something. "We set up a Slip 'N Slide in the dorms. It's amazing!" He yells and shows other college kids going on it. "This is the best day of my life! I'm making lifelong bonds!" One cheers and everyone cheers and goes to hug him.

"We're missing everything." Katie groans and holds me tightly in sadness. Mom gives my girlfriend a pleading look. "Oh, come on, hon. Your father is trying. Let's meet him halfway here, huh. What do you say? That's the law." Mom says before getting into a joking mood. "Mom law, cause I'm the sheriff." I hold out the camcorder to Katie, and we both laugh. She takes the device with a smile and eye roll. "All right, I'll try." She says and works with the camcorder.

We start rolling and the camera catches me holding up a piece of cardboard with silly doodles of us surrounding the text "the Mitchell Family" After a second, I flip the board to show the silly doodles of us all dead in a cartoon fashion, and more words "Road Trip Disaster!!"

We first start recording all the billboards advertising different places to eat. The tape then cuts to a plate with burgers and fries, but they already have flies surrounding the food. The camera shows Dad looking excited to eat the food while the rest of us look nervous. "Dad, this place has zero stars on yelp," I beg the man as he lifts the food to his face. "It says, 'Do not eat here ever.'" Katie adds. Mom does a double-take while Dad laughs boldly at this. "What are we gonna let an app tell us how to" The recording cuts to Dad, Mom, and Aaron all retching off the side of the road. Katie shoves the camcorder to me and goes to throw up with them, leaving me to record this. "Welp, good thing I brought some water and meds," I mutter under my breath.

"This is totally unrelated." Dad gasps. "This is totally unrel-" he gags again. The feed cuts off again to us sitting on a road that's not moving and everyone honking nonstop. Dad's finger is tapping harshly on the steering wheel and his impatient glare can be seen in the review mirror. "Ugh, stupid traffic. He grumbles. The camera backs up and Dad lights up. "You know what this calls for?" He asks, getting excited. Katie sighs. "Please don't say the-" before she can finish her plea, Dad turns to us with a big smile. "The Rick Mitchell Special, baby!"