Blindsided

Part 32

"What do you mean, 'the way I am'?" Natalie scoffs, throwing me a pointed look.

"I'm difficult, and bitter, and an absolute pain in the ass to be around. He deserves someone better, someone who can express their feelings instead of putting up walls."

"You're not like that though, Mel." Casey starts, shaking his head at my rambling. "I'm obviously not quite as close to you as the girls are, but you don't have a wall up around me. You're telling me this all know, including details to your sex life, which, honestly, as your honorary dad I don't really want to be hearing." Natalie giggles suddenly, kissing Casey's cheek. "But my point is, you're not as awful as you make yourself out to be. You're a wonderful person Mel, and supportive of all your friends. You're not letting anyone down by needing some space, or a second to think, but you don't deserve to treat yourself this way."

I'm stunned. No one's ever said anything like that to me before, let alone when they're half asleep at one in the morning. Natalie has mentioned that Casey is a really caring, compassionate guy, who knows how to talk through his emotions, but I didn't know he was this good.

"When Bailey says he's in love with you, trust me, he is. That night that we all hung out together, he told Christian and I that he loved you. He had the biggest fucking smile on his face, and I told him not to let you go, and he agreed not to. You know what that means right?" Casey continues, staring at me as he cradles his cocoa. "He's not going to give up on you, no matter how difficult you think you are. Just by judging from the look that was on his face, he's already fallen too far to dig himself out now." I take a long sip of the warm, comforting liquid I have cradled in my hands. I mull over what Casey just said, before my memories flick to the night just passed. Now I feel even worse, after hearing that. If Bailey's had these feelings bottled up for weeks now, I don't even want to think about how much I've hurt him in the space of five minutes. Five stupid minutes, and I've broken everything. 

This whole conversation has just made everything 10x more depressing, a figure I didn't think could get any higher when I ran out of Bailey's place. Melanie, proved to be drastically wrong, yet again.

"So, where is he." Natalie asks inquisitively, falling into Casey's side with what I can only presume is exhaustion.

"He lives a floor up, I just dashed for the elevator and came here. I'm sorry, I should've just gone home instead of-" I begin to stand up from the couch, but an outburst of voices stops me in my tracks.

"No, tonight you're crashing here, no exceptions. It's not safe enough to be out now, it's too dark." Casey says, pushing me back onto the couch with his eyes. 

"Okay, fine dad." I pretend to grumble, placing my mug beside Natalie on the table, and pulling the blanket up to my chin. "Thankyou, though. For listening." I add, smiling sadly.

Natalie smiles widely, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. 

Where his lips where, less than an hour ago.

"Sleep well."

...

Casey had texted Bailey that night, explaining the situation, and letting him know that I was safe and not roaming the streets alone.

I still haven't texted him. 

It's only been three days, but it's felt like the loneliest three days of my life. The worst three days of my life, apart from when Jamie attacked me. And who do I have to blame? Me, myself, and I.

I've been moping around my room ever since Casey dropped me back on Sunday morning. I've turned my phone off, and have only left my room to use the bathroom. I explained everything to Persephone when I got back, and then Lera came over later, and I told her too.