hello, goodbye, hello.

Chapter 48: And the Robin Sang Sweetly

"No you're right. I haven't been. School's been busy, you know." 

"Right." 

A silence fell over them. 

"Well I just stopped by to pay my respects to Mike. I can wait in my car for you to finish if you like or-"

"No, please, sit with me." 

Miss Jenn obliged, following Ricky back up the hill and taking a seat across from him on the other side of Mike's headstone.

"So you really come out here every other week?" 

"Just about. Well look I know my...relationship with your father wasn't all known to you, but-"

"I know. You meant...you mean a lot to him. Thanks for keeping him company. You don't even know how much I appreciate it." 

"I bet he would appreciate it more if you made it here more frequently." Miss Jenn said with a knowing look.

"I know." 

Ricky was at a standstill with himself. Part of him wanted to leave Miss Jenn now and head back to Red's house, maybe try to visit once more before he left town. Another part of him wanted to tell her everything. How awful his life had become. How angry and sad he was all the time. Most of the time now anyway. At the same time he didn't want to intrude on her time. After all, she wasn't expecting to see him here, she probably had better things to do. He was just about to go with his gut and say his goodbyes when the robin whipped by over their heads, just barely missing as it dove for a grub that had wiggled its way out of the earth. The commotion startled both of them. They looked to each other, and laughed. 

"I guess it's lunch time." Miss Jenn beamed, pulling two PB & J sandwiches wrapped in cellophane from her bag. "You know, Ricky, I don't know if I believe in fate, but something told me to make two sandwiches for my visit today. I actually would normally not go when it's so cold out, but, I don't know. I just felt a calling today. Funny huh?" She said, holding out one sandwich to Ricky who took it hesitantly, but smiled anyway. 

"Yeah...funny." 

They ate and reminisced about their time at East high together and about Mike Bowen and all the joy he had brought them both. The robin pecked around at the ground for a while, searching for more food and, satisfied, flew off to the tree and began singing once more. By this time Ricky had told Miss Jenn all about Tyler, their break up, the fight, EJ's sudden reappearance in his life. Ricky even felt comfortable enough to bring up his drinking habits. Ricky knew he had a problem. He had known for a long time, but what was he supposed to do? The alcohol took away the pain, at least for a little while. He told her how he felt...broken. He had always thought there were worse drugs of choice, it wasn't like he was doing meth. But still, the guilt of finally admitting it to someone other than himself, whats more his former teacher, someone he had only hoped he would make proud, it truly broke him. Ricky cried. He cried hard. Harder than he had that night Tyler broke in, harder than when his mother rejected him in Chicago. He had expected Miss Jenn to be angry with him, or at least shocked, but she wasn't. She didn't yell or run away. Miss Jenn reached out her hand, took ahold of Ricky's, and pulled him into her arms. 

"It's okay Ricky. Everyone makes mistakes. You're not broken, and you can get better." She ran her hand gently down his back, just like his like his mom had before she left. Although it was Miss Jenn's arms around him, he could feel his fathers strong embrace. 

Miss Jenn grabbed some tissues from her bag and Ricky wiped his tears away. Then she shuffled through her bag for a moment more and produced a business card. 

"Here." She said, handing the card to Ricky. "This is the card for the local AA chapter, do you know what that is?" 

"Alcoholics Anonymous, right?" 

"That's right. I'm a sponsor for AA actually. I...went through something similar to you, years ago. I was a little older than you at the time, but it just goes to show how that this kind of struggle, it happens to a lot of people. I just want you to know that you're not alone, Ricky." 

"Thank you, Miss Jenn I-"

"You don't have to call them right away, and there's no commitment right now." She said, pulling out her phone. "You've still got my number right. Same one I've always had."

"Yeah, I think so." 

"Well just know that if and when you're ready, I would be more than happy to be your sponsor for your journey to sobriety, if you want to take it.  It'd be a little complicated with you living in New York right now, but we can figure it out I'm sure."

Ricky took a deep breath and the robin sang sweetly.

"Thank you. I don't know what else to say, Miss Jenn." 

"That's more than enough." She said, standing and giving Ricky one more hug. "Well I best be off. I'm supposed to be out shopping for my mother but all those Black Friday crowds!" 

"I hear ya." Ricky laughed. 

Miss Jenn turned to go then turned back to Ricky once more.

"Call me." She said with one last radiant and earnest smile. 

"I will, Miss Jenn." 

"Oh Ricky, you can call me Jennifer, we're all adults now." 

"Okay...Jennifer." Ricky said, trying not to show his discomfort. 

"Too weird?" She said, cringing. 

"A bit." Ricky replied with a laugh. 

"Yeah...Well, still ,call me, for real." 

"I promise." 

That said, Miss Jenn waved goodbye and headed off down the winding path of cemetery, leaving Ricky alone again, but feeling more connected than he had in years.  The robin passed by once more, seemingly hovering above Ricky for a moment. He smiled at it, waved it goodbye too and it dashed off through the sky and into the surrounding city. 

Ricky picked up his skate board and was just about to leave when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Probably Miss Jenn calling him already, or perhaps EJ. Ricky wondered how it was going with his parents. But when he pulled out his phone, he wasn't greeted by any of the names he had in mind. 

Call from TYLER 

Ricky hesitated. What the hell did he want? With no real reason not to at the moment, Ricky answered the phone. 

🌼🌼🌼

Okay so part of my writers block the past month has been that I just had no clue how to get Ricky some closure and healing, or at least start the process. I literally have the whole rest of this story mapped out in my head and now that I'm finally over this hump, I think the rest should flow easily. 

Speaking of this chapter, much like the not-a-date at the lake, it's been kind of incubating in my head since I started writing this book. I'm thrilled to finally have it on paper...well virtual paper anyway. 

I really hope you enjoyed it, and sorry not sorry for leaving on a cliff hanger. 

I can't decide whether to head over to EJ and his parents next or jump to the past first to that family barbecue drama, if you'll recall, before doing that. 

What do you guys think? Do you want to hear about EJ and his parents, or stir up some drama in the past storyline? Of course I'll be writing both eventually, but I want your input on the structure.

Many thanks for your support and as always,

Peace, Love, and Joy

Flora T.