hello, goodbye, hello.

Chapter 48: And the Robin Sang Sweetly

Mt. Olivet was fairly nice, for a cemetery. This grassy lot, somehow still green in November, spanned two blocks across and four blocks down in the newer part of northern Salt Lake City. Most other cemeteries might be filled with the sound of church bells or the occasional mourning widow; quiet and, well, dead. Mt. Olivet Cemetery, however, was, for all but its underground denizens, full of life. It was  surrounded by a tennis court, just across the street from the U of U football stadium and a few blocks down from the Utah Museum of Art. Ricky  remembered how his dad had specifically requested that if he made it to the fall that his funeral be on the same day as an at home game for the University of Utah so that perhaps the crowd would be cheering at the moment his casket was lowered into the earth. Unfortunately, Mike had passed in the summer, but his family had kept his wish anyway and applauded loudly as he was buried, much to the confused looks of passersby. It was about the only part of the funeral Ricky had actually enjoyed, if there was anything to enjoy about your own dad's untimely funeral. 

Ricky reflected on the event as he sat on the grassy knoll by his father's grave that afternoon. He remembered his father had said, even before he got sick, that he wanted to be buried on a hill so that he could look out onto the world, be closer to the sun, and so that, when the rapture came, he would only have to roll out of bed. It had cost them extra to have him buried higher up, but Mike stayed in budget by only allowing his family to buy a regular grey marble headstone, rather than the white one Ricky's mom had liked. Ricky thought it was strange, how particular people were about their deaths. After all, last wishes or not, there was nothing his dad could have done if they had decided to bury him in some cold, flat corner of a regular old boring Catholic cemetery. He was dead. 

"Hi dad." Ricky said finally, not quite sure how to start the conversation, but knowing he, of course, had to be the one to start it. "Sorry I didn't bring any flowers. It's the holidays. Not that that matters, I just, I guess I didn't expect to be here today."

He sighed. These kind of things always felt more meaningful in movies. He just felt stupid, talking to a slab of stone. 

"I'm also sorry I haven't visited since you...moved in. I think you chose a good spot though. You've got a great seat for the game." He laughed, he could feel his dad smiling with him.  "I miss you. A lot." He said after a long pause. "Just had to get that out of the way. I think it's really shit of you leaving me so soon, but I get it." He looked out at the city on the horizon, the sun shining brightly overhead. "This is a really great spot." 

He took a deep breath, tears rolling down his cheek. He wiped them away with the back of his hand, and the wind felt colder against his wet skin.  He could hear the faint sound of a robin's song from a tree nearby.

"I-uh, I found your letters. I guess I should explain what I mean. Mom she, she never gave them to me." Tears began to form in Ricky's eyes again. "I know I know. Not surprising. But look I don't want you to be mad with her. Not to say that you can't be mad, you feel however you want to feel, but I don't know I guess what I'm saying is I think your letters came to me when they were meant to, you know. I know you weren't into the whole fate thing, but...well I just want to thank you, for always checking up on me. I'd like to say I wish I could've seen them earlier and written back, but if I'm being honest with myself, and I guess I might as well be, I probably wouldn't have written back then even if I did get them then." He paused after this, taking in the chilled breeze that whipped past his  tear stained cheek. "I'm sorry about that too. I haven't gotten through all of your letters yet, I'm kinda going day by day...I really liked the one where you were talking about how the nurse brought you lunch from that barbecue place downtown and how you told her you had never tried it and you said you could die happy now that you had...and then you pretended to die right there and she screamed and you started laughing. I think that's why you said you had a new nurse in the next one? I read that one to EJ and he-"