Chapter 20

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Jennie Loren

"You dont have to thank me, infact I should be the one saying that..." She said smiling while her eyes were focused on the road

"Jen, thank you for letting me take care of you. Thank you for still accepting me as your mom..."

She isn't gonna cry, is she? She couldn't be possibly crying, I surely wouldn't be happy about it.

"No crying, Mom" I teased

"Who's crying? Tsk, as if" she sternly said trying to hide her shaky voice and I even saw her glared at me

Oh C'mon, it's no longer new to me. She's always been like this since then and I should get used to this already. Not a day will pass without her giving me that "glaring" gesture

Idk if who's actually way older between us two, were like on the same age or should I say I am way more mature than my mom.

"We're here, Daddy..." I almost cried, tears gathered together in the corner of my eyes and in any minute now they will be flowing like a river.

My lips went trembling and so as my knees but they were still kinda okay to keep me standing then Mom walked closer to me as she held my hand, with that gesture it was now hard for me to keep holding back my tears

"Jenjen, it's okay. Let it out" then I found myself being hugged by her.

I hate being hugged when I'm in tears because I always end up crying harder

"Mom, I feel like dying knowing that I'm never gonna see him again..."

"The pain is excruciating that even I cry my eyes out all day long that wouldn't make me feel better...that still wouldn't make the pain disappear..."

She hugged me even more and never said anything. I know that she too, is struggling a lot. Infact I always hear her loud sobs every night and my chest  just feels so heavy knowing that I couldn't even do anything for her.

I couldn't possibly tell her to stop crying so I just gathered my hands together to cover my mouth whenever I start to feel that my eyes are already welling up with tears.

I try so hard to hold them back but there's no use, these eyes wont listen to me and let these tears flow like broken faucet.

Just when will my eyes get tired?
When will this ever stop? Would this pain ever disappear or it will just get worse every single day..

He left us too soon and up until now
I am trynna convince myself that he's just on a vacation and anytime sooner I will see him at our front door but reality will come and slap me the fact that I'm no longer gonna see him, not in a million years.

And all I have to do now is to live with that idea—it wouldn't be so easy cause I can even barely survive the day

"We're such a crybaby. Dad wouldn't be so thrilled about this" I mumbled making her smile a bit. She turned her back at me and wipe those tears off her eyes

"Who actually cried?"

I was about to point my finger at her but she interrupted

"I did not" she even shook her head trynna convince me that she didn't cry at all

"Why are you looking at me like that?"
It was her asking me again showing that grumpy face of hers

"Am I not even allowed to look at you?" I shot back

"I was trynna ask you a question and you exactly did the same. Who do you think is going to give us the answer then?"

"Dad will, I suppose" I plainly said as I started walking away from her

"Bye Mom! Tell me if Dad finally rendered you an answer" I teased her once again and made my way to the car leaving my grumpy Mom behind then a naughty idea came into me.

What if I give them some time to talk?
That would be too kind of me. I'll just be somewhere else with my car and get back here later to check on Mommy

Imagine how outrageous would that be. I wonder what face she will be making if she finds out that I left without her.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to do what I was thinking of. I forgot that I dont have the key so I was the one who got upset

"Jenjen, looking for this?"
I shook my head in disagreement but I guess she already read what's on my mind

"You weren't up to something, were you?" She looked at me so intently that I needed to avoid her gaze

"Mom, what are you talking about?
I was actually here waiting for you"
I tried to give her my sweetest smile to convince her even I know it wouldn't work on her

"Okay, if you say so" she said as she started the engine. If you think she did buy my words you guys are terribly wrong. She just didn't want to argue that's why.

She may seem to be convinced but she's definitely not.

I couldn't hide things from my mom, she knows me so well perhaps she even know the tiniest strand of my hair

"Where would you like to go next?" She glanced at me for a second and returned her sight on the road

"Let's go to amusement park, eat lots of ice cream, take pictures as many as we want and watch the sunset together"

"That's what I want to do, Mom" I was smiling all along while telling her about all of it. I was already the happiest just by thinking about all those things I wanna do with her.

I want to make every moment count because that was something I failed to do with my beloved Dad.

I never had the chance to return all the great things he did for me, I could have given him gifts atleast or take him into the amusement park.

I can't think of a moment I actually made him the happiest, I feel like I am the worst daughter no one would ever want to have but I was given the best Dad in the world

Maybe we had a conflict back then and that made me turn into a monster but still, no one can change my mind that he is the best Dad one could ever have!

He really is the best, oh no that word isn't even enough to describe him...

Damn, I am doomed because I wasn't able to tell him how great he was—
How much I'm grateful that he was my Dad—I know there are words he's been dying to hear from me but even I scream my lungs out now there's no way he would hear all this...

It's too late to realize everything...
Too late.


Author's note:

Aren't I being so nice to y'all haha kidding. After having a longgg break I finally added three chapters. Enjoy🌟

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