How did the thing I were the best at and the most comfortable to be in turned into this much stress. I've always liked school, I'm curious and I have learning facilities so I've always been happy while going to school, even if I complained about the number of hours, a teacher or just going to school in general. School has always been my thing.
This year is so fucking rude to me, i've lost like 5 friends since September, there's the Covid, and then the war, and school. Don't get me wrong, i still have good grades, and all the things I used to have. But I'm so stressed to go there these days. It's just that there's a lot of people, and a lot of things to learn, there's always noises, i feel like i don't know how to work anymore.
It's just like if I had been in a big vacation while everyone was still at school, and that everybody is moving forward but me. I'm just standing here.
Oh, I don't have friends in my class, or just in 3. That's it. So I don't feel comfortable walking in class, I barely talk to everyone, and I don't want to actually. I felt great in my bed, why did I had to leave it? I miss my room. Being in the dark everyday. Every time I'm going to school, I have another headache which gets stronger everyday. My heart beats to fast this week, I know it, I feel it. I'm so stressed that I woke up at 4am today, like without any alarm, cause I felt like i needed to be prepared.
Why is it so hard to walk in those hallways? Why do I tremble about going to another class? To see another teacher? Why can't I concentrate? Why do I look like if my mind wasn't gonna explode any time? Why am I not in my bed? I need it, I need to be back to only me, it felt better! I don't want to see people, because if I see them, it means I need to talk to them, or to feel their eyes, or to watch them idk. I just know they're here and I don't like that,
Im so freaking lost, yeah.
YOU ARE READING
feelings.
Randomje vais déposer dans ce livre des lettres que j'ai écrites pour des gens qui ne le savent pas forcément. j'ai eu cette idée car ma meilleure amie dépose certains de ces textes ici et des fois c'est trop dur de garder ses secrets pour soit donc jvou...
