Crossing the gangster

chapter 23

Chris's POV

(This is just before he gets a phone call in the club)

As I turned my head to see Hazel with her lip bitten as she struggled to answer my question. She was slightly flushed, a small blush spread across her cheeks at being caught off guard and slightly embarrassed.

I felt bad for asking such a provoking question, the emotion surprising me. Since when did I feel bad, especially for something as minuscule as a question? I walked around, almost parading the fact that I was a gang leader who ripped people from their lives.

So why was I feeling guilty by a mere question that seemed to cause her slight discomfort? But her struggle to answer it was response enough. She had done drugs when she was younger...

I have no idea why but I was livid, not at her but at the circumstances that made her take the drugs. I knew her life before at home wasn't the best and from the times I went over for business, it seemed like it was in shambles.

There was something so painful about watching her eyes gloss over as she revisited her memories, so painful about seeing her struggle not to tear up in front of me. But I squashed those feelings down because I didn't have the right to those emotions, she wasn't mine to hold or make happy.

I kept on telling myself that I didn't care about her or the way she felt about me but everyone who knew me well knew it was a lie. Hazel had found her place in my closed off heart just as Blake, Noah and Izzy did.

But she was different, heck she was on a different level from them altogether. Sure they were my friends but looking at them didn't make my heart flutter slightly as she did and when they smiled, my heart didn't jolt like it did when I saw a smile on her face.

I was broken out from my thoughts when my phone suddenly rang. I contemplated ignoring it for it was probably something important that I didn't want to deal with. Couldn't the person piss off for a few minutes and let me enjoy my time with the girl that wasn't mine?

But our silence and mood had been broken, her eyes flickering between me and my buzzing phone as she silently urged me to answer it. We both knew I was the gang leader of one of the biggest gangs and I couldn't shy away from my duties no matter how much I wanted to.

"Yes," I spoke into the phone with a gruff voice, praying it was just confirmation that a shipment has arrived so I could go handle it the next day. But instead, the news got me standing up abruptly, fingers clenching the phone so hard they whitened slightly.

How dare someone attack MY warehouse? It was a known fact that I sell drugs for it was my biggest source of income but Hazel looked somewhat frightened and intimidated when I told her the news. Had she not known that we dealt with drugs or had she forgotten?

But the fear shining in her eyes was of something far worse and I understood immediately. She wasn't scared of the drugs, she was scared of how she was going to react To the drugs. It was a heart-wrenching fear to see in someone so young as she hesitated on telling me what she felt.

But I could sense her resistance and I respected that, not wanting to pry so much into her life, well more than I had anyway. It would not do me any good because any small thing I knew about her just drew me into her further and I couldn't, wouldn't let that happen.

She was dating Blake and it was always brothers before others, no matter how pretty or attractive or sweet that other was. I wouldn't cheat on Blake, someone who had supported me through my thicks and thins when I had few standing by my side, with her who I didn't even know that well no matter the attraction my body felt.

I took her hand and sprinted to the car, ignoring the slight sparks running through my arm at the contact. It was just a mere feeling of lust that would pass, I lied to myself once again.