The Value of Tears (En- JayWon) ✔

XX

What if one wheel went off? Will we just be thrown somewhere? This is small compared to the car, what if we will get hit by a car? Then there is nothing to even support us, we will definitely die.

"Stop over thinking or we're not going"

"Just go. ."

I held onto him tighter and then with my eyes closed, I felt us moving but this time, it is faster and I can feel the wind pass through my hands and I got curious so I slowly opened my eyes and the view is so pretty.

I mean, it felt totally different as traveling inside the car. I know I cannot talk with Jay hyung in this ride but it is so much fun. The view is so open and I can look at any direction I want and I can see everything.

"Hold on tight. We're almost there"

I looked ahead and i saw the real life ferris wheel. I saw that in the TV and it is even bigger in real life. I can literally see it towering many of the other constructions and buildings. It would be really fun to be in there. I can ask Jay hyung to watch sunset while we're on top.

When we reached the amusement park, I'm feeling so excited and I almost jump off if not for Jay hyung holding my hand.

"Like in cars, wait for it to stop ok?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just so excited to try all the interesting rides you mentioned. And I saw a lot of fun rides"

"Ok. . let's go then"

We entered the place and there are many people and compared to the mall, this place is open and you can see the sky and there are also stalls like the mall but it is smaller. They sell more food and I don't see any clothes and gadgets. Maybe because this is a park and it is suppose to be this way. There are many stores on land.

They have a mall, a department store, convenience store, restaurant, cafe, bar, coffee shop, bakery and many more. I'm getting confused as day passed by.

Because I don't want to be lost in the sea of people, I held Jay hyung's hand tightly.

"Where will we go first?"

"What do you want to do first? You can pick one that you're curious about and then we'll try that"

"I want to try that train"

I saw a train but a shorter one moving so fast around the tracks. Wait, it is not a train, where is the roof? Won't the people riding that fly away?

"That's a Roller Coaster. I don't know how to describe it so let us just try"

We waited in line and once we got seated, there's a huge seatbelt around us. Oh maybe this is what keeps the people in place because I have seen this ride go crazy with its twisting.

"Jay hyung . . can I hold your hand?"

Without a word, I felt him intertwine our fingers causing for a huge grin to appear on my face.

"You can go crazy in here Carrots"

When the ride starts, I know this is a good idea because it feels like I'm swimming in the air instead of water. I'm so used to swimming crazily under the sea that this ride reminds me of it. How I miss the sea but the sea also holds the threat to my life.

I smiled as I opened my eyes and enjoyed the view that the ride is giving me. All the turns and twists are just so fun to me.

"This is so fun!!"

I shouted and the other people shouted with me. I look beside me and Jay hyung isn't looking good. He's sweating and shaking as he grip my hand tighter.

I got worried for him that the moment we exit the ride, I didn't let go of his hand and drag him to the nearest comfort room.

I know the feeling of being sick as I felt that when we went to that store and it is awful when there are people looking at you.

"Jay hyung? Are you ok?"

He just splashed some water on his face as he took in deep breaths.

"What just happen?"

"We're in the roller coasters but you're not fine "

"It just felt so familiar"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

We exit the room and went to a stall and ordered some food. We sat on the bench and he began to speak.

"It's just a memory from when I was younger. My dad trained me in the sea to dive. But on one particular day, I was caught in a huge wave that almost killed me. The roller coaster felt like I was taken in the sea once again but instead of waters, I am on air. . . I'm sorry Carrots . . this is suppose to be your day, where do you want to go next?"

I felt so bad, Jay hyung had a bad experience with waves while here I am enjoying the ride because it felt like the waves.

"You pick next"

We finished the food and drink before we went to some arcade games. This is when you pop a balloon and win a price.

A certain plush doll immediately caught my attention. But it is so hard to win as it is pure luck. The balloons held prices inside and sometimes, it has nothing.

I was completely not aware that as I stare at the plush, it was taken out the shelf. The caretaker has taken the plush out the shelf and gave it to to. . . Jay hyung?!!

My eyes widen as he took my hand and place the plush in my arms.

"Thank you!!"

I leaped and hugged him as he took my hand and we again walk around and I saw a huge circle being dropped a hundred feet from the top. Oh it is like a superhero landing from the sky. I want to try it. But what if Jay hyung is scared of heights?

"You wanna try that?"

"Yes but . . will you be ok joining me?"

"Sure, let's go"

I saw him take a huge intake of breath   as we line up.

"Jay hyung, It's alright, we don't have to. . "

"I can do it ok? I'm not scared"

"No . . it's fine. I don't want you to feel sick again"

"But I'll be fine"

He looked frustrated and he really seem to be alright but I don't buy it. I don't want him to feel sick again.

"Jay hyung, it's just me, . . you can let your guard down. . ."

I then slowly pulled us out the line and we sat on the bench.

"May I ask you a favor?"

"What is it"

"Can you be Jay hyung whenever you're with me? I mean, you can be yourself around me. You can tell me anything. You can scold me too you know . . ."

"It's hard to do that . . I don't even know who I am when you're with me. . . you confuse me"

Am I hurting him perhaps?
I just want him to be comfortable around me. He always make sure that I am comfortable but what if he's not? I want him to feel great with me too.
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