Salty

Thirteen | The Good Mac

Thirteen | Sloan

Widow.

The word never failed to make me wince. I looked away from Ollie, not wanting to give him any sort of satisfaction by showing him just how much I hated hearing it. His strong but delicate grip on my wrist loosened, and yet he didn't let go. Rather, the pads of his thumbs repeatedly brushed my skin to soothe me and prevent unwanted tears from spilling.

"Sloan?"

"Don't pity me." My voice betrayed me and cracked. "It's not what you think."

"It's exactly what I think," he mumbled. "I'm not here to pity you. I'm here to make this right. I understand now that you did not know who I was when you came into my bar that night, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you despise the night we shared when it was a big step for you."

The last sentence hit me hard, leaving a sour taste in my mouth. There were only two people who would understand why that night was a big step. TJ left this lot without ever having seen Ollie before in his life. That left one person to hunt down my one-night-stand, and I had never felt so betrayed. Hallie had no right to tell him anything about Steve and, knowing my best friend, Hallie didn't hold back on details. Ollie was right when he had said a minute ago that this was exactly what he thought it was.

"Hallie went to you," I said, practically growling. "After I told her not to."

"Don't be upset with her." Ollie sighed ruefully. "She did the right thing, and you could have told me about Steve. I would have understood."

"We broke the law," I argued, feeling myself go even more lax in his hold. "It's not something I share, and especially not with the dickhead teacher who makes my life a living hell. Why would I tell you?"

I didn't feel Ollie release my wrists or even notice until he was brushing away tears from both sides of my cheeks. The corners of his lips drooped, and I didn't know if it was the pity he was trying to hide or if what I had just said had stung. I honestly wasn't sure I cared either way.

"It's not breaking the law if you loved him the way Hallie explained. Anyone would have done the same."

Love came later. Love came when it was too late.

My shoulders quaked as I fell apart in front of Ollie, the exact person I never wanted to show any weakness to. It just gave him ammunition for a war I had no interest being in. The last thing I was expecting was for his arms to wrap around me, offering his chest as a warm place to sob into. I clutched the lining of his leather jacket so hard that the cold, rough zipper pained my hands. The harder I cried, the tighter his arms wrapped around me. I didn't know how badly I needed someone else's reassurance that what I'd done was understandable and to comfort me. Someone that wasn't Hallie—who was there for all of it.

Ollie quietly held me until I finally could take a few deep breaths and stop myself.

"I'm sorry." I released his jacket. "I'm a mess, and I didn't mean for you to get caught up in it."

I backed away, trying to free myself from Ollie's hold, but he didn't budge from his spot. He only dropped his arms in order to cup my face and brush away more fallen tears.

"Stop apologizing." He attempted to smile and failed miserably. "That was supposed to be my job tonight."

"I'm not going back to your class, Ollie. I don't care what Hallie told you. It was a sign that I wasn't meant to do this."

Ollie audibly exhaled, removing his hands from me completely. His sapphire eyes darkened, losing the sparkle they held just moments ago when he still was holding me. Losing the contact made me feel annoyingly lonely. I didn't like that, even though I hated him, he affected me. I was not someone who depended on attention—or at least I wasn't before Steve. As if I didn't like myself enough, this was making it worse.