End Of Passion Play - {James Hetfield/Metallica}

Chapter 6 | "I Think I'd Die Without You"

"I don't fuckin' wanna go to another party with those dumbasses!" Sarah told me, sitting on the floor near the fridge.

"Fine," I sighed. "We won't go. I don't know if Lars is gonna be happy, but we won't go.".

"Thank you, James." she smiled. "Thank you so much!".

"How many drinks have you had today?".

"Only one... I know it's not even noon yet... but I think I'm doing pretty good.".

"That's not too bad.".

"Yeah. And I'm not having any more! No projectile vomiting on the audience today!".

                                ***

The atmosphere in the dressing room after the concert was happy. I don't know how else to describe it. I was somewhere between sober and drunk, planning on getting shitfaced again.

"Bob and Sam and a few friends are gonna come pretty soon." Lars told me as I packed up my guitar. "I told them they could come hang with us and have a few drinks.".

"Oh, fuck, really?" I replied.

"Yup.".

"Sam? Sam as in the guy who tried to fucking rape me?" Sarah asked.

Lars' face went blank.

"Don't fucking let him back here!" she said, gripping the fretboard of her bass tight. "That motherfucker-".

"Sarah, he was under the influence of drugs." Lars said calmly.

Sarah stared at him through narrow eyes. "That doesn't make what he did okay! There's no fucking excuse for rape!".

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" Kirk announced. He opened the door and a slew of guys came in.

"Oh look, it's dumb, dumber, even dumber, somehow even dumber, stupidly dumb, dumbest, and dumber than dumbest." Sarah said, giving all the guys nicknames.

Sam waved at me and Lars, and he winked at Sarah, undressing her with his eyes. I wrapped a protective arm around her, glaring at Sam and giving the "I'm watching you" signal.

Sarah’s p.o.v

Some time later, I sat on the floor in a drunken haze playing my bass. I wanted to just go back to the hotel and cuddle with James.

“Oh Sarah?” Kirk asked in a singsong voice.

I looked up at him. “Yeah?”.

He kneeled down to my level. “Wanna go outside and have a smoke?”.

I nodded and got up, setting my bass against the wall. I followed Kirk outside, and I figured it must’ve been pretty late because it was already dark.

“Can we go back to the hotel?” I whined, leaning against the wall.

Kirk sighed and handed me a cigarette. “Eh, I dunno, Sarah. I don’t think anyone else wants to leave.”.

“Please, Kirk? Just you and me?”.

“We should all go back together. We’re gonna take a cab.”.

I groaned as he lit my cigarette, then shoved it into my mouth. The night was still and warm, and I could only think about how I regretted getting drunk.

“Sometimes,” I sighed, exhaling smoke. “I hate myself.”.

Kirk looked at me quizzically, taking his cigarette out of his mouth. “Why? Why would you hate yourself?” he asked, smoke drifting above him.