Pessimistic Coodies (RusAme)

Origins

I keep my head down and my gaze averted as I speed walk past them. Their conversation barely changes tone so I doubt that they had noticed me. It must be nice to be so distracted by good company that you lose sense of your surroundings. I want to envy them but I have no right, I chose to be ostracized. It was for the best anyways. The more people you know, the more problems you have; the more disappointed you will be in mankind.

I enter the empty shop and search for a simple table lamp.

About 15 minutes later I exit the store with the lamp in my grasp. I was successful at my search and found exactly what I was looking for. Just in time too, the stores were now all closing. I start to make my way back to my car, the group of my peers were gone. Or so I thought...

One stands in front of the hood of my car taking selfies of himself. I keep a distance of 10 feet and I stare at him bewildered. What the fuck was this moron doing? I clear my throat and I get ahold of his attention. "Can you please get away from my car?" I ask.

America looks up at me and lowers his phone like he was caught committing a crime. He lets out a loose nervous chuckle. "Sorry!" he takes a few steps away from my car and towards me. "You have a really nice car. Which dealership did you get it from?"

I roll my eyes and walk over to my trunk. "Don't you have something better to do?" I tuck my lamp in the back and close the trunk.

He shrugs. "Not really..."

"Bullshit!" I say, "I saw you hanging out with your friends before!" The audacity of him, to take something that great for granted.

"Ah well... hanging out is no fun when you are only the fifth wheel..."

"Cry me a river. Be grateful your friends are nice enough to include you in their plans." I tell him.

He sighs. "You won't get it; forget I said anything." He begins to walk away.

"Gladly." I mutter. I reach for the car door handle but I don't open it because I soon hear America stop walking.

I turn to look over at him and he glances over his shoulder. "Also, I wouldn't put that lamp in the trunk like that. All it takes is one sharp turn or bump to cause it to shatter."

I narrow my eyes at him threateningly. "You got a better idea wise guy?"

He rotates his body to fully face me seeming interested. "Yes I do as a matter of fact!" He walks over to my trunk and gestures his hand to it. "May I?"

My angry gaze stays fixed upon him as I pop open the trunk. I was curious to know what he could possibly have in mind, it wasn't like I was in a rush to get to where I live. He smiles and takes the lamp from out of the car. He walks over to the passenger seat, opens the door, and straps the lamp in the seat. He extends his arms out as if he was displaying a rare exhibit.

I stare at him unamused and disgust swells in my face. "That is the most fucking ridiculous thing I have ever seen! Get the fuck out of my sight!"

He starts laughing hysterically. I walk over to the passenger door to remove the lamp and I slam the door shut. He continues laughing at something so pointless. He wipes a tear with a smile on his face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... it's stupid but I promise it'll work!"

I roll my eyes and I walk away to the driver's seat with the lamp cradled in my arms. He calms down and asks me "Where are you going?"

I wanted to say "home" but the word would leave a bad taste on my tongue. I don't consider where I live to be my home, it felt so distant and uncomfortable. I live on edge and I feel I will be attacked at every given moment. It definitely wasn't a healthy environment to grow up in. I walk past the driver's seat and pop open the trunk again. Back to square one. I tuck the simple lamp into the void of my car.