Sinful Addiction

XLII

ELENA CASSANO

        I was never a needy or clingy girl, ever. I didn't know the first thing about being a relationship because all my marriages were never one of love or desire, more like desperation and the need to please my father. But like everything else in my world which was starting to revolve around this man lately, so was my attention.

        I was about five seconds away from barging into his office, crawling underneath the desk and sucking this man off.

I didn't know why or what had gotten into me but It was either that or crawling onto his lap and demanding his attention.

        I hadn't seen him since last night and like a drug addict craving their next fix, I needed him. Anything I could get, whether it was a simple kiss or the way he would sit me on his lap and stroke my hair softly as he finished work.

I was now beginning to revel in the attention whore that poked through my calm composure. And I knew coming down from this high would be nearly impossible.

        Last night was a whirlwind of emotion which ended in me falling asleep in his arm which he murmured sexy Russian phrases inside my ear and translated it for me in hopes of teaching me more Russian.

        I was still light years away from being proficient but it was the thought that counted.

        After we finished talking, the man looked around my motel room with distaste and made an important not to allow either of us to continue suffering in a 'broken down motel room'. His words exactly.

He then proceeded to make a few important class, found an expensive, luxurious suite and unexplainably ended up with the biggest one of it all.

I wasn't surprised. Ruslan Vetrov was made of old money and smelled like dollar bills dipped in expensive scotch but I never truly realized how much power he had over others. Especially his name.

He had built a dangerous rumor based on his nickname, and held a dark glare which sent people running as soon as he watched them with those blue eyes in that brooding, examining way of his.

        We made our way to the expensive suite, shared a bottle of wine and I remembered nothing but falling asleep in his arms, and by the time I woke up this morning, I was alone in bed.

The other side completely untouched and perfectly clean with no wrinkles which told me I must have spent the night alone.

I knew Ruslan was probably in the living room of the hotel, and doing what he always did best at all times—work. I had never met a man who worked as much as he did.

        And I was trying to think about what to do with the man that had suddenly... and was now mine. Fuck him? Kiss him? Keep him?

       I wanted to keep this man, possibly love him and completely let down my defenses but I also needed to take things one step at a time. What if he changed his mind later? He wouldn't do that. God, I was such an emotional wreck.

I couldn't ever stop thinking about the possible what if's and allow myself to be happy.

I knew the only thing I wanted to try to do was communicate better with Ruslan. He deserved at least that.

He deserved to know when I felt the urge to run, and when I wanted to hide from him.

        I laid on the bed, dangling my feet from the bed and suddenly had a thought in mind. Yeah, I was going to revel in my inner attention whore.