The Lost Daughter- A Mafia Princess

Chapter 37

"Hi. I miss you guys. I miss the talks, I miss the countless amount of jokes, fake insults and all our fun times. I miss our group walks. I wish I could have been there sooner. I could have saved you. I am sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You won't have kids, you didn't get married all you guys' plans didn't happen. And for that I'm sorry. Yes, I blame myself who else is there to blame? I wish you were here and it wasn't this way. I wish we got a chance to find your parents Cole. I wish I could hug you again Nichola. I love you guys and I regret not saying it before I left that day. I hope you hear it now though." I said my tears betraying me. I placed the flowers at the grave and walked away, and left the others to say what they wanted.

I sat in the car and placed my sunnies on to hide my red eyes.

Eventually, a crying Akari entered my car and I drove off.

We entered the house and I felt heads whipped in my direction, but I payed it no attention. I wasn't feeling it.

"Principessa, we were a- are you okay?" Dad said.

"Akari?" Mom said hugging him. He hugged back and I was so grateful she did hug him.

"Mhm." I said pursing my lips together.

Dimitri approached me and gave me a hug and then took off the sunnies.

"Why're you crying?" He asked softly.

"Today, is a hard day for me." I said

"Excuse me." I said walking to my kitchen and grabbing the nearest bottle of Chivas Regal.

I walked out the kitchen and I went into the elevator pressing the button for the studio.

I felt heavy, everything crashing on me. From the day I was taken in the hellhole to the day we escaped to the events leading up to the escape, to the day that they died and so much more.

I cracked open the bottle before taking a swig. The liqour burned as I gulped. I knew I couldn't get drunk but that didn't mean I couldn't try nor that I didn't want to be drunk. Because right now I really did.

I switched on the led lights to red and purple before switching on the power to the equiptment.

I placed the headphones on before pressing play on the control board, after trimming and editing the beat.

I made my way into the recording booth and placed the mic at my height.

Say you're there when I feel helpless. If that's true, why don't you help me?
It's my fault, I know I'm selfish
Stand alone, my soul is jealous
It wants love, but I reject it
Trade my joy for my protection

All the times that I couldn't understand love, the meaning, the point. Until my friends showed me. Before that I constantly rejected them but they didn't give up on me.

As the song progressed I sang.

Grab my hand, I'm drowning
I feel my heart pounding
Why haven't you found me yet?
I hold you so proudly
Traumas, they surround me
I wish you'd just love me back.