Rylin Riddle

chapter 30

July 17, 1997 (Saturday)

"Put your body into it, Rylin! I don't believe you're this weak! Your father's blood is in you!"

Bellatrix screeched as she forced us into practicing torturing charms on birds. My heart breaks when I see them being hurt, especially a poor animal. But I can't refuse it or I'll be killed.

It's horrible.

I'm almost numb to feeling bad for the animals which scares me most. This is sucking the emotion out of me piece by piece. I can barely do magic now with my lack of energy.

Bellatrix sometimes pushes me so hard I pass out, but for some reason no one cares enough to really check on me.

My brothers and Draco try to help as much as they can when I pass out, though it doesn't change much.

Narcissa Malfoy has been the biggest help. I told her about my lack of sleep and all that's happened.

I told her about my childhood, Beauxbatons, transferring to Hogwarts, meeting my new friends, Theo, the rape, everything.

Almost everything. I haven't told her about the dreams themselves. I've mentioned before that I can't sleep, but not anything specific.

I've talked to her a lot. She does her best to try and console me. After all this time, she might be the best mother figure I've had in my whole life.

Lucius Malfoy on the other hand hates my guts. He couldn't care less who I was or what issues I was having. I'm pretty sure he hates that I'm close with Draco too. Narcissa hasn't told a soul what I've told her, which means so much to me. Not even Draco knows everything.

I've been lying to Theo all summer. I've told him lies about what I've been doing, why I'm so busy, everything. He can't know I'm a death eater. Or that my family is. Or that Voldemort is at my house constantly.

Fuck.

Theo can't know anything. I also have to lie to Laney. That one's hard too. It was practically impossible to hide the fact that Draco and Enzo have been staying at my house too.

Draco's parents come and go constantly but Draco is staying in one of our guest rooms in my brother's and I's wing of the house.

I just know Theo would be pissed if he found out I was spending summer with Draco and Enzo besides my family and not him. Especially the Enzo part.

I decided I'd tell him about Enzo. It would end much worse if I hid it.

I wrote Theo in a letter, telling him Mr. and Mrs. Berkshire were leaving town and since we're so close with our families, my aunt and uncle offered him a place to stay in my house.

Theo took it badly, I could tell through his writing. His words were harsh and I could sense his anger.

I assured him it would be ok since Mattheo and Tom were here too. Enzo and I wouldn't have time to hang out individually even if we wanted to.

Having them all in my house and spending time with them constantly, has set a pretty big trust bond on us. Even after everything, we have no one else right now. We only have the other death eaters which none of us want anything to do with.

It's like a new type of friend group, a forced one we're learning to handle. It's almost sickening, our group. The fact that we're forced to be best friends to learn to torture people and do dark magic.

Who does that to a bunch of teenagers?

Voldemort does.

After today's lessons and practice, we were called for a death eater meeting. This one was different for us though. This is the type of meeting we've been going to but not directly involved in. We were to just sit and listen in silence.