The Enemy of Trade

8

-Evren Black-

"Oh and get this, he just sat there, with that addicting little smirk on his face. Ugh I so wanted to punch him." I said.

"But I mean, even after today, there's just something about him that I can't figure out. Like, excuse my language, one day he's a complete asshole to me, and the next, he's this protective monster who thinks no one else is allowed to have me." I scoff.

"I don't really know what to do, and I really wish you were here to help me." I picked at the grass, "this is definitely a 'moms advice' type of situation." I moved so that my back was leaning on the stone.

"Me and Corina are still friends if you're wondering." I smiled at how she never really liked Corina. "If I'm being honest, she's probably my only real friend."

I watch the setting sun in the distance, "She told me to tell you she said hi." I lied.

I sat in silence for a moment, "Schools good. I sent out my application for NYU last week. Don't worry, I applied for my backups too." I smiled.

Mom always wanted me to go to NYU. They have one of the best literature programs in the country and a really good medical science program that I wanted to go to.

"My backups were Berkeley and UCLA. I know NYU is where you want me to go, but you went to UCLA and if I don't make it to NYU, then I want to go where you went."

She would so be fighting me on this topic right now. It made me smile.

I leaned my head against the stone.

The sky was a pretty shade of orange yellow and pink. The blue fading out into a light purple.

"I miss you." I admitted, "I know I say it every year but, I do." My hands started to shake, "Even after 5 years, I still feel this guilt." I swallowed.

"I know it's not my fault but if I had just gotten up earlier that day, we wouldn't have been in the accident and you would still be here." I felt the tears well up.

"I don't blame myself entirely though. I mean, who gets drunk at 7 in the morning?" I let out a shaky laugh.

"I know if you were here right now, you would be telling me that, it's not my fault and you would be holding me tightly. How I wish I could feel you again." I sniffed.

I put my hand flat on the grass, as if trying to feel for a heart beat.

I let my tears fall after losing the battle of holding them back.

"I really miss you mommy." I sobbed.

The sun was almost set. Meaning I had been here for almost 2 hours.

And dad was still waiting for me in the car.

I wiped my tears and stood up. I smiled down at the stone and leaned down to place a kiss on it.

On her.

And I could've sworn I felt a peck being placed on my cheek.

I stood up a little shocked.

"See ya momma." I smiled and hurried through the graveyard.

I didn't want to be trapped in it when the sun fully set.

I made it to the car and opened the door to find dad with his arms crossed and his eyes closed.

"Dad?"

He jolted awake, looking around frantically.

I put my hands up in surrender, "It's just me." I laughed.