Might As Well Be Dead

Chapter 6

Warning: self-harm is mentioned (will be put in warnings once this is uploaded)

How do you react when you find your best friend, and he looks like a lifeless corpse? What do you do when those once bright blue eyes you looked forwards to seeing every day, are so much different and racked with fear beyond recognition. His eyes were nothing more than small pin needles, what iris was showing was a sad blue-gray that looked so dreary that Tubbo wanted to cry right there.

His Tommy, his best friend, was staring at him with nothing more than fear. Tommy looked beaten down, like he had given up and now was letting life take its course with him. He remembers how many times Tommy would defy the world, testing the limits that always had stopped Tubbo. 

Tommy's once bright blond hair was snow-white, his skin holding too many scars to count as long as looking too pale. He looked like a walking corpse. He remembers how Tommy used to always wear this certain shirt, having a whole closet full of the same one for when it got dirty or destroyed. His normal blue jeans are gone as well. He wore a red sweater with khaki pants, his shoes nowhere to be seen. He looked older too, but then again he had been missing for a whole year. Tubbo snapped out of his thoughts when he heard gasping behind him.

 The others had entered the secret base, the three taking in the scene before them with the same reaction as Tubbo did. The base almost looked homey, like a normal family was living in it, it made the goat hybrid sick. "Tommy? Is that really you?" Tommy's fists balled as he looked at the four, eyes scanning them as if he was trying to figure out if this was an illusion or not. As if the reality of the situation hit him, his already unnaturally widened eyes grew wider.
   
"Tommy?" It was Sapnap, his orange eyes blazing to life by the sight of the white-haired male. "What happened to you?" Tommy didn't speak though, if anything a frown started forming on his lips. Sapnap started taking some steps forwards, Tommy glaring towards them as he started backing away. The blaze paused in his movements when he noticed Tommy's actions. Tubbo still didn't know what to do, how to feel about finding Tommy in such a situation as this. 

"Tommy? Please we came to get you away from Dream, I don't know what he's done to you but it can't be anything good if this is how you look." Tubbo said, hoping that some part of Tommy still had common sense and would stop moving away from them. What the ex-president wasn't expecting was the outright terror filling his gaze at his words, zipping away just as fast as the emotion flashed onto his features. 

"TOMMY?" Bad yelled out, just as confused by the young adult's actions as the other three were. "Why'd he do that?" The demon asked, white eyes drooping as he asked. 

"I don't know, but we need to find him and get him out of here while we can." Karl said, walking further into the house to find Tommy. Tubbo bit his bottom lip trying to keep his tears from flowing out of his eyes. His best friend looked so sad, dead even. Tubbo had to get Tommy out of here. 

* = * = *

Tommy sat curled up in one of the hiding places the base held, eyes squeezed shut as he listened to the four intruders wander the house trying to find him. He wasn't dumb, he knew why they were here. Dream had told him many times over that the only reason someone would try and take him away was to get to Dream. He wasn't letting anyone take him out of this base, unless that someone was Dream.

Maybe in another scenario, long ago, Tommy would have run straight into the four's arms with happy tears in his eyes, ready to leave Dream and the base behind for good. 

But that wasn't Tommy now. Tommy wouldn't leave Dream, because Dream was the last person that cared about him anymore. These four only wanted to take him so they could lour Dream into a trap, something he wanted no part of. "Hey, I found some interesting things in this room, I think it's Dream's!" Tommy's eyes widened, his fists balling as he tried to slow his breathing. Dream's room was off-limits, not even Tommy being allowed in there without permission. The few times he had been in there, it was when Tommy was having what Dream called 'emotion overloads', when Tommy would get random spurges of emotions at one time, like they were trying to force themselves back onto Tommy.  

One of these times, Tommy had stabbed himself in his arm multiple times as if he was trying to kill himself. Dream had to beg for Tommy to let go of the kitchen knife, even cutting himself in the process before the metal object had finally left the youngers grip, clanking to the ground as well as smearing more of the white-haired male's blood on the ground. Dream had Tommy sleep in his room, afraid Tommy would try to self-harm again.

Tommy didn't understand why Dream had cared so much, since Dream had killed him too many times to count now. Tommy thinks it's because he doesn't want Dream to see Tommy die by his own hands, since he looked terrified when during many other emotion overloads he had admitted to wanting to die, multiple times. 

Either way, he didn't like that these uninvited guests were snooping in Dream's room. "What's that book?" It was Karl's voice. 

"Don't know, but it says 'Tommy' on it so it has something to do with him. Tubbo, here you can have it." Sapnap said, probably handing whatever book it was over to the goat hybrid. "The other thing I found is blueprints to this base. It has some secret hiding areas, made for if people were to break in. I guess they were made to hide Tommy if Dream was ever found out to be living here." Tommy clamped his mouth shut, squeezing his eyes shut as he calmed his breathing. He didn't know why he was so scared, since emotions weren't exactly his friends anymore, but right now he could feel them like they were never gone. 

"Well where are they? I bet he's hiding in one." It was Karl who spoke, a few footsteps echoing through the silent home. 

"Actually, there are two near us right now." Sapnap announced, his footsteps making Tommy's heart race as he went to the other one in the hallway. He knew he was done for, trying to calm down as he heard the trap door open. "Nothings in here though." He grumbled, the door shutting seconds later. 

"Well where's the other one?" Tubbo asked. He almost sounded eager, hurried footsteps making Tommy slightly flinch. He hated this, he wished they would go away. Tommy curled in on himself as he heard the rustling of paper. It didn't take long for hurried footsteps to come his way, and he got ready to attack if needed.

And attack he did. As soon as the door opened he swung a punch. He heard a yelp and someone falling to the floor, and after that he zipped out of his hiding spot. Automatically someone grabbed ahold of him, the white-haired male screaming in protest as he started flailing around. Everything was chaos, voices rising around him as he fought against the person squeezing him close to keep him from getting away. 

Before he knew it a potion was being forced down his throat, his gray-blue eyes widening as what was happening registered in his brain. He didn't have time to fight back though, his eyes becoming droopy as his body slowly stopped all movements. He felt weak, his head flopping to the side as he tried to catch his breath. Everyone around him seemed on edge, all eyes traced onto the young adult as they took him in again.

Tommy looked over some of them himself, Bad looking scared but worried, even Karl showing his concern for him. But lastly Tubbo, his green eyes wet with tears as he slightly rubbed a huge red spot on his cheek, surly to bruise. Tommy had done that. Tommy heaved, looking away from the goat hybrid in defeat. 

"Give him another, it'll knock him out until we get back home." It was Tubbo speaking, his voice shaky as he spoke. Tommy weakly tried kicking away from Sapnap, a pathetic whimper leaving his lips as he did so. It was too late though, another potion being shoved down his throat, forcing his eyes to close. He had failed Dream. He had failed the last person who cared about him.