Quiet | Seungjin

11

Surprise!! Update after...idk a long time. Anyway trigger warning nothing too triggering just underlying themes of trauma related to assault and slight self harm.

An ear piercing scream bounced from wall to wall through the Kim residence as Seungmin jolted awake. The second he gained consciousness he was clawing at his throat.

His stomach felt as if it was a volcano and the lava was slowly creeping up his esophagus to incinerate his being. 

It burned—he was on fire. His whole body was on fire.  A loud sob echoed through the room as he tried to pull away from his own skin. He couldn't bare a second longer—the sinful memory of fingertips lingered on his skin, searing the boy with each passing moment. The earth must have finally decided to claim him as the foul creature he was, ripping him from the soul within.

Seungmin's mother rushed into the boy's room, having been woken herself by the pained screams of her son. She froze in the doorway upon seeing the boy. Never in her life had she seen somebody cry so violently and despite her job as a mother—it terrified her. The thrashing and yelling of such things as being on fire wasn't something she had seen in any parenting books.

Feeling her husband brush past her in the doorway, she watched as he scooped their son into his arms, holding the boy tightly against his chest so he couldn't hurt himself any further. She could see the self inflicted claw marks wrapping up Seungmin's arms through the darkness. Squeezing her eyes shut, she sucked in a harsh breath before ducking out of the room, hoping her husband was stronger than she was.

"He's here!" Seungmin cried as he tried to break out of his father's hold, not quite conscious enough to know who the man was in the moment.

"Nobody's here, Seungmin, you're safe. I won't let anybody hurt you."

Still stuck in a nightmarish trance, the boy continued to sob about being on fire. He screamed and screamed until he couldn't utter another word.

Holding the trembling boy as tightly as he could without crushing his bones, Seungmin's father tried to get his brain to work. He could hardly think of what to do to get the boy to calm down when everything had happened so fast.

But after a while, the dream morphed into reality and the only burning Seungmin felt was from the wounds he had scratched into his own skin. His yells resolved to sobs as he balled his fists in his dad's shirt.

"Nobody can hurt you here..." the man whispered as he rubbed his son's back, "I'll never let anything happen to you, I promise."

"I promise, Seungmin, I promise," he whispered over and over again until the boy in his arms ran out of tears and laid gently against his chest.

He gently set the boy back down in his bed as he was overcome with a more peaceful sleep than before. "Oh my sweet boy," he spoke, his voice trembling as he rubbed a thumb over Seungmin's hair, still damp from sweat, "my sweet...sweet boy I am so sorry."

Mr Kim looked down at his bleeding arms and wished to take every ounce of pain from Seungmin's body to endure it himself. "I am so, so sorry," he said quietly, "I failed you..."

From the moment he laid eyes on Seungmin, he knew his job was to keep his boy safe. He promised he would keep him safe, but he failed. Nobody was there to protect him, nobody was there to protect his innocence.

"Please just forgive me...please..." he cried as he wiped the lingering tears off the cheeks of his sleeping son, "that's all I want before I die...is your forgiveness."

✨✨✨

Waking for the second time that day, Seungmin slowly sat up and tried to recall the memories from earlier. He couldn't remember much of what happened except for the physical reminders he left himself.

His whole body looked as if he rolled around in a bush of thorns all night long. To accompany the grim appearance, his skin tingled and stung from the wounds.

He carefully got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom where he sat himself on the counter. He used hydrogen peroxide to clean out the scratches and placed bandages over the deeper ones.

Glancing in the mirror, he winced at his reflection. He looked as if he had been apart of some freak accident involving a rabid cat.

"How are you feeling?"

Seungmin looked up to see his father standing in the doorway, concern written all over his face as he stared at his son. Attempting to respond, the boy was quickly cut off by the hoarse state of his throat.

Even if he wanted to, it didn't seem possible to utter a single word in such a state. He simply shrugged. There wasn't a way to describe how he was feeling because even he himself wasn't really sure.

His eyes wandered a bit and saw his dad had a gash of his own on his left forearm. He felt a pang of guilt knowing that he had done that even if he didn't mean to.

"Oh...don't worry about it," the man said when he noticed Seungmin's eyes glued to his arm, "it isn't that bad."

"I'm...sorry," he forced out, his voice rough as he spoke. The words felt even heavier than normal, they stung a lot more.

The man quickly shook his head, suddenly reliving the guilt he felt only hours before. "You don't have anything to apologize for, Seungmin. Please don't apologize to me."

A frown formed on Seungmin's lips when he saw tears pooling in his dad's eyes. He knew it was his fault—he was making everybody unhappy. He always had.

His brother was finally home for the weekend and they were supposed to be happy, but he ruined it. He made it about himself and ruined his brother's visit.

"Seungmin, honey," his mother started as she appeared next to her husband, "I talked to Ms Park about what happened last night...if you're okay with it she said she can squeeze you in for a session today to talk about it?"

A heavy silence fell on the room as Seungmin pondered the idea. After a while, he slowly nodded, he needed to be somewhere else. He needed to be anywhere but home.

———
I had the sudden urge to write more for this story so I have a few drafts written

Thanks for reading...but sorry for making it so sad :/