Scouting For Romance

Entry 10

Day 15, Month 14, Year 572

0900 Hours

Last day before we're sent to basic training, and I decided we'd spend our time in one of the many museums in the city.

I've always liked history. Specifically, pre-Protectorate history. The grand, illustrious history of Peldor!

At the time of me writing this, it's been 572 years since the formation of the Peldak Protectorate, technically. Around 2,700 B.P., before the Protectorate, the eternal city of Pelda was founded by the man who would eventually be known as King Arus. The inhabitants of that city, the peldaks, would go on to wage a never-ending war against the ignorant savages that infested this great planet. It took thousands of years, but King Arus did it, and people like Tytus and I can enjoy a peaceful life unmolested by the many barbarians who wouldn't have hesitated to victimize us before.

The museum was dedicated to Piekachowice's role in events throughout B.P. history. As there will never be more events in that time period, there's a sense of completeness in the halls. No messy expansions, no maze-like corridors, everything is perfectly laid out so you can start at the city's founding to the right of the main lobby, then end with the city's reaction to aliens to the left of the main lobby.

"This way." I said, leading Tytus by the hand through the quiet, sparsely populated museum. "The map said the vampire war exhibit is this way." We went the wrong way on the tour, starting at the end and working our way back, as the vampire war was relatively recent.

"The vampire war? Which one was that again?"

"The war against the vampires."

"...I guess I walked into that."

"Yes."

I led him through a few hundred years of history, then reached up to close his eyes as I led him through the vampire war exhibit proper. I didn't want him seeing spoilers, after all.

When we finally got to the beginning, I acted as a sort of tour guide for him. I went through all the major strokes of the war, it's causes and backdrop, the main commanders, the big battles, and the aftermath. Piekachowice only had a limited view of the war, so it only covered the basics, the kind of stuff we went over in school. I wanted to make sure Tytus got the full picture.

"The war began a short time after Pelda and the Army of Light conquered the last rebelling nation in the world. King Arus had many years prior made a deal with vampires to help him conquer the planet. King Arus exposed this deal himself. To make amends for this he announced a purge of these vampires and the beginning of the vampire war."

"Why'd he purge them?"

"Because vampires are evil and have no place in civilized society." I led Tytus past a small display showing how Piekachowice donated a lot of food and armor to the war effort, which had a hand in it becoming this great military hub so many years later.

"So, why'd King Arus make a deal with them in the first place?"

"Because he thought he could use their power for his own ends." I turned to him. "Are you a vampire or a slave of a vampire?"

"Uh, no."

"What is the capital city of Peldor?"

"...Pelda?"

"Hm. It appears King Arus was right."

"Ha! Well, I can't argue with you there."

I continued Tytus through the exhibit, stopping to give funny asides and side stories. The vampiric siege of Piekachowice, for example. There was a nice display of it, lots of famous details like when the vampires tried digging a tunnel under the walls, only for the defenders to dig their own tunnels and fight the vampires in these large underground battles. But what the display failed to mention was when the vampires built a large, raised platform outside the walls and began preaching the words of their dark god. So many defenders were converted with the vampire's honeyed words that the leader of the garrison had to start going around, cutting people's ears off. They built a large bonfire on the walls and started chucking those ears in as a display of their purity and how they wouldn't be converted by the vampires... but then the smell of cooked human flesh began to drive the vampires insane! They got so hungry that they had to assault the walls! But the defenders were strong, and the walls held, and the vampires were driven back after a costly defeat. All the vampires had to do was wait another few days and the defenders would have ran out of food, but they failed due to their own demonic hunger.

I told Tytus all that, but in my dry, boring, monotone voice with short, choppy sentences. I'm sure he was bored, but he leaned against the wall and followed along regardless. He's such a sweet guy, putting up with me.

"And you just know all that from the top of your head?"

"Yes."

"Did you study up on it since you knew we were coming to Piekachowice?"

"No."

"If I named any random town or city on Peldor, you could list off it's actions during the war?"

"Yes."

"Wow." Tytus's eyes rounded and he nodded his head in appreciation. "That's pretty impressive, actually."

"Thank you." I gave him a stiff curtsy.

"Do you like the vampire war in particular or could you list facts like that for each of Pelda's conquests?"

"I like the vampire war and that is why I can list facts like that for each of Pelda's conquests. The vampire war was the culmination of over 3,000 years of history. All events before it were merely a setup to the vampire war."

"That's gotta be an exaggeration."

"It is not." I gestured him to follow, and he did. "How many months are there in the Protectorate calendar?"

"24, obviously."

"Why?"

"Cause that's the number of great men who came to Pelda shortly after King Arus founded it. I mean, King Arus and the 23 men who would all become known as saints."

I stopped at the end of the vampire war's exhibit and showed off a grand tombstone made of gold. It was nestled between two torches, curling tree vines, and a load of broken swords. Etched onto the golden tombstone were the names of 18 men.

"At the start of the war there were 24 saints still alive. At the end of the war there were only six saints still alive. Ten betrayed their brothers and were killed for their efforts. Eight loyalists were butchered by the vampires. The vampire war was the only time in peldak history when any of the original 24 saints perished."

Tytus's brow narrowed in disgust. "The calendar was created after this war though, right? Why do we still have ten months named after people who betrayed us?"

"Vampirism is a mental poison. It seeps into your mind and makes you do things you would not have thought yourself capable. The ten betrayers were weak and flawed. They should not be punished because they were incapable of resisting the supernatural allure of a vampire's strength. The ten fallen saints had nearly three millennia of pent-up anger and aggression and resentment and grudges. The vampires offered the strength to settle those grudges. We have barely been alive for two centuries and we have not experienced the hell of pre-Pelda Peldor. We do not have a place to judge."

"That's dumb." He smiled and pounded his fist against his chest, "I'd never betray the Protectorate! Or Peldor! Or King Arus, or the Lord Protector, and especially not you!"

"We will see."

"...what?"

"Aaaaaaah-ha.ha.ha." With my head down, I stepped forward until my head touched his chest, then I slowly looked up at him. "It is good you are so confident. Some say the vampire war failed. That the Army of Light did not eradicate vampires from Peldor. There are rumors that vampires were driven underground and survived until the peldaks went to the stars. It is possible that vampires escaped Peldor. If they did then they have plotted their revenge for 572 years. You and I will be deployed to a remote planet on the edge of civilized space. We could run into anything out there. Who knows what ancient horrors await us out among the stars?"

I kept my eyes locked on his to complete my scary story and try to intimidate him.

"Pfft-!" I didn't work. "Yeah, okay Mal. Sorry, I just can't take you seriously when it looks like you don't even care about what you're saying." He patted me on the shoulders, then lifted me up in a princess carry and brought me through the rest of the exhibit. "If you're worried about vampires, don't be. I'll kill a hundred for you if it'll keep you from peeing yourself in terror."

CLEARLY I was trying to intimidate him. I don't know how he interpreted that as me being scared. Or maybe he was just teasing me. I dunno.

I did like being carried like that though. Sometimes I've heard it referred to as a 'bridal' carry. It was nice.

Anyway, I enjoyed my day out with Tytus, and we got a big lunch after the museum trip. Tomorrow's our first day of basic training.