A Mutually Assure Attraction

A realization and pain

The next few months went by without any new mention of the events of that first day, with the boys developing a new routine of meeting up out front of the school in the morning, walking to class together, having lunch together, and generally spending time together outside of class. All the while, Cam and Jonathan had become closer causing Hayden to feel uneasy but he never said a word because he knew that would just sound like him being jealous or something. Hayden had been acting weird for a few days which caused Cam to feel a bit uncomfortable around his best friend. Then one Friday morning in January, he suddenly got a text from Jonathan.

[Hey Cam, can we talk in private?] he wrote, not wanting Hayden to know.

[Sure, on the roof at lunch] I replied. The morning passed without so much as a hint that something was going to be different during lunch that day. When the time arrived, Hayden said "I'm gonna run to the store, you guys want anything?"

"Nah, I'm good," I said pointing at my homemade lunch. "Me too," replied Jonathan pulling out a lunchbox from his book bag.

"Oh okay, I'll be back in a bit" Hayden said as he headed towards the door. Waiting a few more minutes, we headed to the roof.

"What did you wanna talk about?" I asked as the rooftop door closed.

"I didn't wanna talk, well I guess it's better to say I wanted to ask you something. I know you're in love with Hayden but would you maybe wanna date me since you can't have him" Jonathan asked.

"That makes you sound like a conciliation prize though. Are you sure you wanna date me, knowing everything I've been through and am still dealing with?" I asked unsure of this situation.

"Yes, I'm sure I wanna date you. I really like you, like more than just as a friend" Jonathan said moving to stand directly in front of me.

"Okay, we can give us a shot but I'm telling you now I doubt I will be ready for sex anytime soon, kissing is okay but not other stuff" I said hoping Jonathan would understand.

"I get it, we'll take it nice and slow. And we'll keep it between us so we don't upset Hayden further. He's been acting a bit odd and I think he needs time to deal with whatever upset him" Jonathan said taking my hand.

"Agreed and yeah I had noticed. I wanted to ask him about it but..." I trailed off looking at the ground.

"But you didn't want to know if it was the fact that you're gay and in love with him that upset him" Jonathan said tilting my head back up with his thumb and forefinger. Looking into my eyes, Jonathan moved his head a little closer to mine landing a kiss on my lips. We stayed like that for a few more minutes.

Meanwhile, Hayden came back from the store to find Cam and Jonathan missing. Wondering if they had just finished eating and were hanging out on the roof, he made his way there. As Hayden climbed the stairs to the roof, he could hear people talking. As he reached the top he heard what was being said "but you didn't want to know if it was the fact that you're gay and in love with him that upset him" Jonathan said. Opening the door, Hayden saw Cam and Jonathan kissing and holding hands. Feeling suddenly hurt, tears began streaming down his face as he let go of the door and took off back down the stairs. He managed to make it to an empty classroom before breaking down completely. Closing the door and crouching down by the interior wall where he wouldn't be seen and cried harder than he ever had before.

I was so distracted by the kiss, I hadn't even realized the door had opened until it slammed shut drawing our attention.

"Crap, who do you think that was?" Jonathan asked.

"There's only one person it could've been. Shit, I guess he knows now... That's not how I wanted him to find out though" I said taking a step towards the door letting go of Jonathans' hand as I moved.

"We should go look for him and check on him" he said.

"Yeah," I said as we both headed towards the door. Making it to the bottom of the stairs as my phone suddenly went off, I pulled it out to see a message from Hayden telling me he wasn't feeling well so he was going home and probably wouldn't be at practice that night.

After texting Cam, Hayden ran back to the classroom and grabbed his stuff, ignoring the looks everyone was giving his now red face and puffy eyes. Quickly leaving the room again, he made it to the corner as he heard footsteps approaching from the other end of the hall. Quickening his pace, he rounded the corner before the had the chance to see him as he heard Cams' voice echoing through the empty space as he told Jonathan about the message.

"I wonder if he really isn't feeling well or if that was a lie to avoid us," I thought hoping I was wrong about the real reason for Haydens' sudden exit. The rest of the school day went by without any further incidents.

"Alright, I'm off the Ike-do practice" I said as we walked out of the school building that afternoon.

"Are you sure you wanna go to practice and not go check on Hayden?" Jonathan asked.

"Yeah, there's no point trying to talk to him now if he was so upset he had to leave to avoid us. Besides, I promised I wouldn't quit Ike-do since I quit the swim team. So, I have to go even if my sparing partner doesn't" I said giving him a sad smile.

"Okay, I'll walk you there then" he said. When we were far enough away from the school that there was little chance of them being seen, Jonathan reached out and took my hand holding it as we walked. When we got closer to the dojo, I pulled Jonathan into a nearby alley, pushing him against the wall as I gave him a deep goodbye kiss that lasted for a few minutes. Breaking the kiss, I took a step back and said "try not to worry too much and be careful on your way home." Then I gave him one last quick peck and left to go to practice while Jonathan was still catching his breath.

With a small giggle, Jonathan moved back off the wall straightening his clothes, he then left the alley and headed to pick up his little sister from her elementary school. Pulling out his phone as he walked, he sent a message to Cam: [Wow, that was a bit unexpected. Have a good practice and let me know when you make it home.] Closing his phone and putting it back in his pocket, he couldn't help but smile as he walked.

As Cam walked into the dojo and towards the locker rooms their Sensei called out to him "hey where's your partner?"

"Oh, Hayden isn't coming tonight. He said he wasn't feeling well and even left school early" I said knowing it was probably a lie but not wanting Hayden to get in trouble.

"Oh okay, I guess I'll be your sparing partner for tonight's session" Sensei said as I got to the locker room door.

"Yes sensei," I said acknowledging what he'd said before walking into the locker rooms to change. As I got changed for practice I couldn't help but think about everything that had happened today and worry about Haydens' reaction.

"Was it really that disturbing to see me kissing Jonathan or was it just a shock to actually see? If that's the case then why run off like that and leave early?" I thought as I folded my clothes neatly and putting them in my locker.