Moving in with my best friend seemed to be the only way for me to stay in Florida and not be forced to move back to Colorado.
Due to my lack of money, my best friend suggested me to move in with her, her younger sister and her father who happens to...
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The drive back home was pretty awkward if I think about it. Ryke changed his hands to grab the steering wheel every five seconds, seeming very nervous. As soon as we were at the house Ryke took Olivia to take a bath while I told them I would cook some dinner.
I am actually really good at cooking. My dad and I always used to cook dinner together every friday, saturday and sunday. It is a memory I always love to think of.
I made some Ravioli, prepared the table and then made my way up to Olivia's bathroom. I knocked against the door and then slowly opened it, seeing Ryke drying off Olivia's blonde hair.
"Sorry to interrupt but dinner would he ready. I'll wait downstairs." Ryke gives me a nod as a thanking gesture while Olivia smiles up at me and jumps up and down while her father tries to blow dry her hair.
They have been down after some more minutes, Livy sitting in her chair while Ryke puts some Ravioli on her plate.
We ate in silence except for Olivia tellig us about her stuffed animals and toys she liked to play with. "Are you going to be my new mommy?" Olivia asks me all of a sudden what causes me to choke on my Ravioli.
I punch my fist against my chest as I take a sip of my water and try to get my breath back. "I'm sorry, what?" I ask her, still breathless from my little chocking accident.
"Will you be my new mommy?" "She's your nanny, baby. Nothing more. I'm sorry, Louisa. She asks that every nanny she meets." Ryke interrupts his daughter and tells her exactly what is going to happen.
"I am going to be a friend of yours if you want me to be, Olivia." I tell her and grab her little hand in mine. "I already told you, Olivia. We don't need a mommy. We have Valentina and each other, alright? A mommy doesn't fit in our family." Ryke tells her
That's bullshit. Every child needs a mother. Especially Olivia does at this age and when she is at the beginning of puberty.
I may not be that person but I really wish for this family, for Ryke to find a woman that is able to fill this hole Amanda left behind when she left.
"Do you have a mommy, Louisa?" She asks me. I squeeze her hand once more and wipe the back of her hand with her thumbs. "I do. But she lives very far away from me."
"Do you miss her?" She asks me as she munches another fork full of Ravioli in her little mouth. I see the look Ryke shoots me from the corner of my eye, which makes me kind of nervous. "I do. I miss her very much sometimes. I haven't seen her in a pretty long time."
God, why would I tell her that? The girl has seen her mom the last time she was an infant and I am telling her those things about mine. "I miss my mommy too sometimes. But daddy is right. He is the best daddy possible and I don't really need a mommy."
Again. Ryke being an amazing father- yes. Her not needing a mother- absolutely not.
I am thinking back to the moment when I first got my period and my mom wasn't home for the weekend. I rode my bike for a good twenty minutes to reach my first grocery store where I could buy a package of tampons.
I couldn't tell dad even tho I was almost closer to him than to my mom at that time. What is going to happen when Olivia reaches that point in life? I know she would have Val but that wouldn't be the same.
We finished dinner not long after that and I got Olivia up into her room. I brushed her hair and put her in her pajamas before tucking her into bed.
"Do you think that I will ever have a mommy? All of my friends in kindergarten have mommys and daddys." My heart breaks at the words of the toddler so I sit on her bed next to her and stroke her hair. "I don't know, Olivia. But I think that everything could happen if you really wish for it to."
She talked to me for some more time before I noticed her getting more tired and sleepier until she totally blacked out.
I tucked her in fully before I made my way down into the kitchen to do the dishes where I saw Ryke standing in the kitchen as he sipped on his whiskey.
His eyes meet mine as he notices me coming into the room and my breathing becomes ragged right then. I walk over to stand next to him as I start cleaning the rests off the plates and then put them into the dishwasher.
He watches me rhe whole time, sipping the alcohol in his glass occasionally, watches me clean the surfaces, start the dishwasher and then put the leftovers in the fridge. "I don't want her to talk too much about her mother. I also don't want her to be reminded she doesn't have one with her. I hope you understand that I only want what is best for my kid and that would involve to keep the conversations about her mother on a rather low base. I don't want her to think she isn't good enough. Amanda is history. She chose to not be a part in her kid's life anymore so we also treat her like just a bad memory."
I understand what he means. I also understand that he wants to protect his kids. And I would be the last person to give him parenting advice because I don't think I would make it any better. But I think that Olivia should be confronted with it especially for her to know her worth. For her to know she is more than enough. But again. It's not my decision to make. If he wants it to be that way, so be it. "Okay."
