Maggie

twenty-one

Leo left for work yesterday and never returned. Every morning for the past week he left early and came home late at night. His driver has been driving me to school and picking me up everyday since he flipped on me.

He hasn't spoken to me once and I haven't with him either.

I have been accompanying myself at home with Fork and Spoon. Those are my dogs names. Fork is the boy and Spoon is the girl. I came up with it one night when I was eating dinner alone and they were sitting near my feet. I was using my fork for the salad I made and the spoon for my soup. I found it... fitting.

Leo still doesn't know the dogs are here and honestly I am glad because I could not imagine how mad and disappointed he would be with me if he found out.

Theo has a puppy as well so he has been lending me dog food for Fork and Spoon. I can't ask the driver who goes by the name of Martin to stop at the closest pet shop because he reports everything back to Leonardo.

My friends know about what's going on so they have been helping me out with certain things. For example I needed something for my project in Italian class but I didn't want to be a burden on Leo seeing as he just got home from work and was in his home office. So, Zach came in the clutch and gave me all the materials I would need.

Having Leonardo mad at me is really hard. Harder than I would've ever thought. In the past few days I have realized how reliant on him I actually am. I feel the urge to fall into old habits and my nightmares have been getting worse and worse. My anxiety has risen and I feel the same sort of sadness I felt when I lived under the bleachers.

I relied on him for my happiness and I feel like a shell of who I used to be.

I've been crying a lot and my mind has been jumbled all over the place.

Like right now I am sitting in my final class of the day, Italian. Yet, I can't focus on the lesson that the teacher is teaching about foods and culture. All I keep thinking about is how I disappointed him.

It was like a stab in the gut when he said that and now I can't get it out of my head.

Worst part about all of this, is when he discovers Fork and Spoon. If he wasn't already disappointed he definitely would be then.

The loud obnoxious sound of the bell signalling the end of the day is what brings me out of my depressing spiralling thoughts.

I give Avery a quick goodbye hug. Before walking to my locker. But of course I couldn't walk there peacefully, no, just to add on to my terrible day I see Fiona and her goons crowding around my locker waiting for me.

"Oh there you are girly! Really we've missed you since our last interaction." Fiona says in her really annoying screechy voice. Our last interaction involved me socking her in the face, I don't really understand how she missed that.