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Chapter 26: Without a Hitch

"Only with what's happening right now!" I sputter, at a loss.

He scowls at Grey in realization. "You told her, didn't you?"

I pivot to look at him. "So, it's true?"

Jay runs a hand down his face before shooting daggers at his best friend. "I told you that I'd ease her into the idea in time."

"And I told you that I would burst her bubble the second she got under my skin, and that's exactly what I did," Grey shrugs.

"You couldn't last five minutes alone with her before losing your head?" Jay shoots him an unimpressed look.

Grey just nods, not showing an ounce of shame. "Correct, yes."

I shake my head at him. "My first act as owner of this house will be to barricade the doors, so that you can't escape, and then execute you."

Grey blinks down at me, unfazed. "Well, my first act as co-owner of the house will to be to ban you from carrying out any acts."

"Co-owner?!" I gasp before retaliating with what I know best. "Jay!" I shout, feeling betrayed. "Explain!"

Lesley takes the gap to flee the room before I can involve her too.

"Look, Aqueela," my husband-thing finally meets my gaze, looking sheepish and anxious which makes me soften ever so slightly, "he went half on the offer. If this works out, he'll be living across the bridge on the boring side. He won't be in our space. He'll practically be in his own home."

"Like I want to live on this gross, abnormal side anyway," Grey adds, still emitting rays of raw evil from deep within his inner being.

"Hey! This apparent abnormal side brings me unbridled joy! It makes me want to sing and dance!" I argue, defending my home.

"You do any of that and I step in front of a bus," he threatens.

I start humming. "Oooh, don't tempt me."

"Like I said, you're a child."

"Children are awesome!" I protest. "They're full of life and free. Maybe you should try and tap into your inner child every once in a while."

He scoffs. "Easy for you to say, you live there. You've yet to tap into your inner adult."

"My inner adult died a harrowing death," I update him. "Huge funeral and everything."

He lours at me before directing his focus back to Jay. "I can't talk rationally to her. It's impossible."

"They said the same about the undead being able to walk in the daylight yet here you are," I remark and gesture to him in a matter-of-fact way. "Nothing's impossible."

"I wanted this to go smoothly, without a hitch, but I should've known better," Jay states, still managing to maintain a level-head. "Of course, there'd be a ton of derogatory comments to sift through before we can make any actual headway."

"Mainly from your temperamental sidekick who wants to murder me when I've been nothing but delightful and precious," I exclaim, fortifying my defense.

"You're the one who mentioned executing me, Ms. Delightful," Grey asserts derisively. 

I don't recall saying that...not more than once anyway.

I tap my chin. "Yeah...my thoughts may have gotten away from me."

"Makes sense," he replies with a grudging nod. "Even your empty and pointless thoughts want to escape you."

I flip him off, pretending not to see the ghost of a smile curving his lips.