invisible string

1.

"Hey babyy" I ran to Noah who was walking towards me as he entered the room. "Hey val... we need to talk." The words I was scared of the most, those words that basically meant breakup and heartbreak. As soon as I heard it I was terrified. Noah is two years older than me and we had been dating for six months that feel like forever now. I don't even remember my life before him. We are together every day of the week and we do everything together. Many of my friends have told me that it has grown into something toxic and that I'm losing my identity and with that myself. They say that I'm so caught up on what he's doing when he's not with me that I have become the girlfriend of Noah and no longer Valerie, the girl who liked to model, to dance, to laugh.

"Val? I really need you to listen to me." Noah's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. My eyes started to get watery as I stood there in front of him waiting for what he wanted to tell me. "The past six months we've been together have been truly amazing, they have been a blessing to me. I've never had so much fun before I met you. You're an awesome person and I want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you and you will always hold a special place in my heart as my first love." Noah continued. At this point I was already crying and I felt an intense burn in my heart. I've never been in a relationship before. I mean I'm only sixteen years old so I guess it's fine. What I want to say is that I've never experienced what a real heartbreak is. I've never been through one.

"Please don't do this. I love you." I whisper as Noah wiped the tears that were rolling down my cheeks. "I promise this is for the best of both of us." He says with blank eyes, like he's not feeling anything. "Why are you doing this? Why do you hate me so much?" I say angry throwing his hand that was holding my face away. I felt furious, he only wants to hurt me. "Val, the least thing I do is hating you. But for now what's best for us." He tried explaining but I cut him off saying. "It's only what's best for you ain't it? Who do you want to fuck Noah?" I said and his look only expressed regret. I don't know regret of what honestly. "I have to do what's best for me. I have to get going. I love you valerie." He said as he walked towards the door of my house and finally closed the door.

I felt an intense pain in my chest. Why does this shit happen to me? Why does the love of my life leaves me like this? I ran up the stairs with my red eyes and wet face. My older sister encountered me in the hallway and I wanted to hide. We have a normal sisters relationship, we're not the best friends but we don't hate each other. "What's wrong Val?" She asked confused but I ran past her getting to my room and closing the door. I threw myself into my bed and I heard a knock on the door. "Val? I'm Maddie, if you need anything text me. I love you." My sister said from the other side of the door but I ignored it. At this point I had never felt so much pain.

I felt lonely, empty and soulless. I had been so attached to Noah and our relationship that I had distanced myself from all of my friends. Noah, on the other hand, continued his life, his hobbies, following his dreams and hanging out with friends, whereas I, only lived for him. In my world he went first, second and third and then anything else. I had no one to go to, and this is when I learned how important friendships are, those friendships that are there for you no matter what. Those friendships I lost, at the exact moment I started dating Noah and immediately pushing them aside.

This is when I realized that everything my friends were telling me was true. I was so invested in my relationship that I was no longer me, I was a part of Noah, like an accessory to him. I didn't know what to do, I felt lost, completely lost.

"Valerie... you can't stay in your room forever." My sister Madelyn said from the other side of the door. It had already been two weeks. Two weeks in which I had invested my time in basically crying, eating, sleeping and more crying. I had never felt so lonely in my life and the worst part of it all is that I was still waiting for Noah to call me so we can solve things out.

I felt bad for my sister, she's been really nice to me and I just ignored her for all these days. I guess she might know what having a heartbroken feels like. I feel like a bad sister for not being there for her when she was hurting the way I do. I felt guilty of all my life decisions and if I could go back time I would've done so many things differently.

I stood up and opened the door for Maddie and she hugged me. I was shocked for a second but then I hugged her back. It was the most sincere hug I have had in a while. She came in and hugged me again. I closed the door. "Val... look at you. You can't be like this for a boy. I promise he's not worth it." She said sitting on my desk's chair. "It's not just the fact that we broke up, it's the fact that I lost myself in that relationship. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't have any friends. I was so invested" I tried explaining but I couldn't hold my tears in and I started crying instead. Maddie hugged me again while she said "I understand what you're going through. You should try doing the things you loved to do before Noah. I know you liked modeling and dancing. Why don't you try those? Or maybe some other things like yoga? Painting? We could do it together." She said with a warm smile. I am the luckiest to be able to have a sister like Madelyn. She is so sincere and caring and humble. I wish I can be like her one day. "I think I'll stick to the modeling." I said giggling and wiping a tear from my left eye.