Teach me to trust

11. Explanation

I went to bed early last night; my mind was running with Keira's advice, and I tired myself out overthinking all day.

Now, I sit here at my kitchen table trying to write the perfect message to Nate that not only excuses my ignorant behaviour yesterday, but also lets him know that I'm willing to listen, depending on what he has to say.

I've typed and deleted five different messages now, and I pick up my phone to type out another when I receive a text from Keira,

'Have you stopped being a little bitch yet and text him'

Fucking Keira, I swear she knows when I'm in the middle of a crisis and decides that it's the best moment to ridicule me.

'Fuck off I'm thinking of what to say to him' is my response, which earns an almost instant reply,

'How about – I want to sit on your face, please and thank you – I think it's a winner personally'

For fucks sake.

I close our chat and reopen my messages with Nate, and just pick up my phone to type, I really need to get over myself and there's no time like the present I suppose.

'Hi Nate. If you still want to talk I'm free today. Let me know' is what I decide on. Short and sweet, straight to the point.

I put my phone down on the table, biting the side of my thumb out of nervous habit, and pray I haven't left it too long. 2 days too long.

His response comes through almost immediately.

'Yes definitely. I'll pick you up in 20 minutes and we can go for food somewhere' no question marks, very sure of himself.

'That's fine. See you then' I send back to him, and realise I only have 20 minutes to get my shit together. Jumping up from my seat and running to the bathroom to have a shower and brush my teeth, I start my routine.

I could have sworn I heard a car pull up outside about 10 minutes ago, but I don't hear a knock on the door until it gets to around the 20-minute mark.

I run my hands through my hair quickly, sorting myself out in the mirror and quickly putting some lip balm on and taking a deep breath before turning and opening the front door.

He stands there, head down and hands in his pockets until he realises I've opened the door and his head shoots up, looking at me with a nervous smile.

I feel almost guilty for a second, so I step out, turning and locking my door, trying to appear like I'm not a nervous wreck.

He stands there, just waiting for me and then turns and walks me to his car, opening his passenger door for me and walking around to sit behind the wheel. He puts his arm behind my seat and puts the car into reverse, looking over his shoulder throughout, sexy as hell for no reason at all.

"So, there's this café across town. I've not been before but Lily said the food is good there, so I thought that sounded alright" he says, one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on top of the gear stick, just next to my leg.

"Mhm, sounds good to me" I reply.

I'm not ready to have this conversation yet.

Over the course of the last couple of days, I'd convinced myself he was in there with his live-in girlfriend. Telling her he stayed at a friend's house last night because he was wasted, and that she had nothing to worry about.

History repeating itself.

Nate pulls into the car park for a small café, called June's Place, it's cute. A light blue sign on the front of the building, and from where we're parked, I can see the booths lined up against the window. A few customers scattered around, even from out here the place feels warm and inviting.