The Submissive Assassin (BxB)

Chapter 41 - Never

"I'm done with you Nate, there's nothing else to talk about."

Nate stepped forward. "I don't even get why you're mad."

"You don't get why I'm—!" Dante had to look up at the ceiling, throwing his arms in the air in shock. The sweat had formed across his forehead and his mind was rushing with murderous thoughts that he had to resist the urge to simply lunge forward and end it all, not wanting to deal with these knifing emotions stabbing him in the chest. "You can't be serious."

"I'm dead serious, Dante." Nate's shoulders broadened, himself feeling a swarm of anger build inside his bones. "You think it's alright that you come to my apartment and try to fight me for no reason?"

"For the hundredth fucking time, I've told you I'd come whenever I felt like it."

"Then what do you expect?!" Nate screamed, his voice screeching and Dante was taken aback. "If you come whenever you'd like, I might sometimes be a little busy, that's normal—"

"You think I'm mad because you were busy?"

Nate threw his arms in the air. "Then what the fuck are you mad about?!"

"You tricked me, Nathan!"

"How the fuck did I—"

"You said we had something, that there was something." He couldn't help but clench his teeth right after, his mind replaying the scenery of finding them both naked on the couch, or hearing their moans as he walked in the apartment. And from what it sounded, Nate had a much better time than he ever had with him. Nate still appeared confused, tilting his head to the side and Dante couldn't resist the rage anymore, exploding into a growl. "You made me kiss you and let you touch me, for you to turn around and have sex with your ex?"

"Eric came to town and we were both drunk and decided to hook up, what's wrong with that?!" he exclaimed, furrowing his brows.

"How long has he been here?"

Nate shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, a few days?"

"Oh," Dante rapidly nodded his head. "So when you told me you were stressed and didn't feel good that one day, you were lying to me." He stepped forward with his shoulders broadened. "You did know what was going on, your ex-boyfriend was back in town and that shook you up—"

"I don't have to tell you everything in my fucking life Dante, we're not fucking dating!" The way Nate bellowed, with such raw emotions and pure anger, made Dante take a step back, shocked that these words even spilled from his mouth. Even worse was that he wasn't done. "I'm only there to help you get off, that's it!"

"Then why make me fall for you?!" Nate's face fell into a blank when he heard Dante's voice crack. His nails reached his chest, as if attempted to dig into his heart as he added, "When you said we had something, I believed you." He looked away for a second, inhaled a sharp breath and needing to clear this throat. This time, it came out as a broken whisper when he hissed, "You were lying the whole fucking time."

"I didn't fucking lie to you. We do have something, alright?!" Even the vulnerability and the agony echoing through Dante's eyes was not enough to stop Nate's anger from exploding onto him. All he wanted was to live a normal high school life, and ever since Dante had suddenly barged into his world, it felt impossible. Screamed at and threatened to be killed for not responding to the phone, or being pulled away from school during lunch time because Dante wanted some pleasure. Even worst, having a gun aimed at him relentlessly, as if his life didn't even matter. Who would love hearing about being the cause of their aunt's death if they continued to make mistakes?

All drunken Nate wanted was for all of it to stop and to let loose. Of course the intimacy with Dante was enjoyable, but touches and lust was not all he cared for in this world. He wanted to live his senior year like any other normal person, but now he was marked as being associated with Dante, which caused friendships to be strained such as with Jules or even with Jake.

That was why Nate exploded.

"But at the end of the day Dante, this..." he pointed to the both of them repeatedly, narrowing his eyes as he spat, "this could never be love." That was the one sentence Dante had not wanted to hear, the one he didn't even realize he didn't want to hear. They had spent way too many hours intimately that Dante hadn't even thought about being rejected. The way Nate's teeth gritted as if they were seconds from collapsing onto one another, made him inhale a sharp breath.

Dante felt his throat clench, the rage contorting his features suddenly vanish. "And why do you say that?"

"Because regardless of the way you look at it, this all stems from you coming up to me and threatening to kill me and my aunt if I didn't do what you wanted me to do." It was as if Nate had kept that in for some time, finally revealing how he truly felt. "This is all your little arrangement, not because we wanted to be with one another."

Dante lowered his gaze. What Nate said had been right, but he didn't think of it that way. "You meet people in different ways."

"And you can try saying you're falling for me or that you like me or whatever the fuck you want," Nate stepped forward again, tilting his head to the side, as if to get a better look at Dante and make sure he could also see the fury flaming his eyes, "but you don't like me." After a short pause, he added, "You like the way I make you feel, you like how I touch you, you love it when I kiss you. But you. Don't. Like. Me."

"How can you tell me how the fuck I feel?"

"I'm telling you because I know, Dante." He did not back down, broadening his shoulders even more. "Do you know anything about me?" When Dante raised a confused eyebrows, Nate began counting on his fingers. "When's my birthday? Or my favourite colour? Or my favourite food to make? What about my career, do you have any idea what I want to be?" Dante looked away. "We don't even know each other."

"That's not the point, at all."

"That is completely the point."

"Even though things didn't start the right way, you can't just ignore my feelings—"

"Yes I can because they're not real," he spat nastily. He pointed to his chest and shouted, "You've tried and have hit me countless times already just because you're mad!"

"You're a dude, you can take it."

"That doesn't make it alright!" Nate threw his arms in the air, leaning forward even more, a deadly glare tightening his face. He had never gritted his teeth that hard before. "When I was dating Eric, he never laid a hand on me."

"Oh, so we're comparing me to your ex now?"

Nate raised a challenging eyebrow. "Well, you say you're falling for me but those are things that you've been doing, Dante! Someone who likes me would never even think of putting their hands on me."

Dante waved his hand dismissively, as if it was reasoning that didn't make any sense. "Stop being a sissy, if you want to be into my world, you have to be able to handle a punch or two."

"That's just it," Nate lifted his eyebrows, pointing a finger towards his chest. "I don't want to be in your fucking world! What, you thought I liked you? You thought I could like a freak like you?"

Dante was taken aback, even taking a step back and inhaling a sharp breath. Even though he was much taller than Nate, he felt like Nate was the one intimidatingly taller and stronger, destroying every last sense of dignity he even had. Dante repeated in a quivering voice, barely above a whisper, "Freak?"

"Yes, you heard me."

Nate was drunk, and these were words that he wouldn't have admitted to if he was sober, but regardless he said them. Maybe he didn't exactly mean it that way, but the built up anger towards Eric, towards needing to always please Dante and not being able to live life like a normal high schooler, had been bothering him for weeks; he had exploded. "I don't know what made you consider me as a potential partner, but don't ever think that again."

He stepped forward, getting really close to Dante to the point that they could practically feel one another's breaths on the tip of their noses. Dante was taller than him, but Nate pushed himself to his tippy-toes to make sure they were closer to the same eye level, wanting Dante to clearly see him as equal and not below, not as someone he can order around like a lost puppy.

"I don't like you, I have never liked you and I will never love you." When he saw the way Dante's eyes widened, he hissed even tighter, "Never."