Chapter 9

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Juniper

I walked around the room, and realized I couldn't smell him. My mate. I don't even know my mate's name! But he knows mine. I think back to how he said my name, it rolled off his tongue and sounded so sexy.

A shiver ran down my spine and the butterflies returned. I shook my head clearing my naughty thoughts.

I can't think of a man that doesn't want me in that way. I'll only end up hurt in the end. I walked to one of the double doors and opened it to see a gigantic bathroom.

It held a shower and a tub, and a set of double sinks. The tiling was gorgeous and I stood with my mouth agape at its Beauty. This bathroom was almost as big as my old room.

I shudder at the thought of my parents, shoving the thought to the back of my mind. Exploring further I confirm the other set of doors is a walk in closet. It's empty, but quite large.

Next I set out to explore the balconies. Turns out it is one large balcony with two sets of doors. I shiver as the cold air hits my bare skin, and instantly miss the warmth of his touch. There is a table and two chairs as well as a couple of lounge chairs and some fairy lights along the banister.

It's actually quite cute, and I can't help but smile. I look out to the forest and watch as the sun sets slowly over the horizon. I miss my bed, my roomate...my best friend. Megan, she hates me. She thinks I'm a monster. And I can't blame her for feeling that way. I killed someone without hesitating. I tell myself I'll stay overnight and then go home. Yeah, that will be fine.

I sigh and decide to take a cold shower. I need to calm my thoughts about my mate and I smell of hospital. I walk in and turn the knobs on and climb in before I can talk myself out of it.

I stand in the freezing water, and once my body calms I turn the water to a hotter temperature slowly. Once it's practically boiling I sigh in contempt. The hot water helping to melt the tension and soreness from my muscles. I finished washing my hair and body, and shaving before getting out.

I wrapped myself in a towel and as I leave the bathroom I glance up and see the Alpha, my mate, on the balcony next to mine. He had a glass in his hand and looked stressed. I frowned and wondered if I had caused him stress. I hope I hadn't, my thoughts falter when a woman walks up behind him, running her hands along his arms.

Anger fuels in my veins. How dare he?! I'm his MATE and he's cheating on me?! I know he scares me and I know I'm not good enough but I can't help the rage bubbling inside of me.

A growl exits my lips and it's apparently louder than expected because both of them turn wide eyed to look at me. Angry tears escape my eyes as I lock myself back into the bathroom.

I know I accepted the fact that I wasn't good enough but seeing him with another woman raged a fire within me. My hands shook as I wanted to rip their throats out.

"That ass hole! I'll kill him I swear it! And her! How dare she touch our mate!" Elise growled through our link. "Let it go Elise. I knew I wasn't good enough." I said, cutting the link between us. Defeat taking over me.

That woman was beautiful, model like even. And I knew I couldn't compare. Not to mention she probably knew how to satisfy him in a way that I couldn't. I wasn't experienced at sex and I had hardly ever kissed a boy in my life. My imagination is wild, but my mind and anxiety win out when it comes time for the real thing.

I sigh in frustration gripping my wet hair. Why does my heart so badly for someone I don't measure up to? Why can't I stop these feelings? Ugh.

I slowly got dressed, brushed out my hair and then brushed my teeth. Leaning against the counter I looked at myself in the mirror, and knew I was right. I'm not good enough for him. I never will be and I need to accept that.

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