Lost Without You » [Luke Patterson]-Au

Chapter 17

Tanna Carson

It's been around a week since Alex spoke to me and things have definitely changed.

Yes the boys do know, but that never did change anything.

If anything, things have started slowly returning back to the way they were. Obviously not entirely.

I couldn't get rid of Sharon's words that were now deeply engraved into my mind, no matter how hard I tried.

I still haven't gone to Alex about what Sharon had said to me, considering that's what really set this all off.

I know he's trying to be patient with me, but I don't know if I can bring myself to tell him, or whether it's just because I don't want to tell him.

Hiding things from him isn't something I truly want to do, but when I think of her words, I can't help but find some truth in them.

If I told Alex, he would completely dispute what she said, even though I know that Sharon wasn't wrong, which is the worst part of it all.

Everything in time I guess.

"Are you okay baby?" Luke's voice brings me straight back into the present, where I was sitting beside him on the studio couch as he had his arm wrapped around me.

If Sharon wasn't here, I would always join the guys.

They haven't really picked up on who I was avoiding, but I'm sure as I asked who would be there each day, the more curious they all started to become.

I couldn't blame them, but I wasn't going to tell them it was Sharon that I didn't want to be around, because it would only open me up to more questions and that's something I didn't need right now.

I was finally getting to a place where I felt that I could sort of cope with everything running though my mind.

"Earth to Tanna."

"Mmh."

"Back to zoning out again eh?" He chuckles deeply, nudging my side gently as I laugh softly. "That's a good sign."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, especially considering the small smile you had resting across your face."

"I did not!"

"You did! It was adorable."

"Luke-"

"What's so bad about that Tan. I love seeing you smile." I could feel my cheeks darken as I kept my gaze locked with his. "I love you."

"I thought you'd be prettier, skinner even, considering you're the one dating him, with what he looks like and all."

"I love you." My voice is very soft, that if Luke hadn't been sitting so close to me, he would have easily missed those three words that made his eyes light up completely.

Luke and I were getting there.

"Luke come on, I need to record you with the backing." Alex cuts into our conversation which makes Luke sigh.

"It's okay, I'm not going anywhere." I gently hold his chin in my hand to get his gaze to fall back onto me.

"You won't?" My heart contracts as I see the desperate look in his eyes, which is there because of how I had been acting towards him recently.

"I promise, now go." He laughs as I place my lips against his before pushing him away gently.

"Okay, okay, I'm going." He hops off the couch, running into the recording booth, visibly excited to start recording.

"Okay Luke, we need to go from the third chorus." Alex presses down the button, speaking directly to Luke inside the booth.

I watch with a smile on my face, Luke bouncing from one foot to the other as he sings, while Alex fiddles around with all the buttons in front of him.

"Hey Roomie." I was clearly too entranced by Luke because I didn't notice Reggie had made his way to the seat beside me.

"Hey Reg, all okay?"

"No, well yeah?" His eyebrows are furrowed deeply and the confusion across his features was extremely evident.

"You don't sound very sure about that."

"I- how are you doing Tan?" I sigh, tilting my head slightly as I take in his words.

On one hand, I know he's being genuine and just wants to check on me, but on the other hand, I know he feels bad about whatever he wants to talk about after knowing what I was going through.

"I'm doing okay Reg." I flash him a small smile as he nods, almost hesitantly in response. "Now, tell me what's going on in your mind."

"Well, tan, I know you-"

"Reg honey, I promise you can tell me, it doesn't matter what I'm going through yeah?"

"Okay, yeah..." he nods, thinking to himself for a moment before speaking once again. "I've been thinking about going to visit El?"

"That's amazing Reg, but why do you sound so unsure. Ella would be beyond ecstatic. She always tells me how much she's missing you. Almost more than she misses me."

"I miss her as well, I'm just, not sure."

"Why not Reg? You could always ask to take a week off after you finish recording?"

"I really want to, but Sharon isn't exactly happy with us being in relationships. Something about the whole rock band being single would attract more listeners, so I'm pretty sure she won't let me go." My eyes widen involuntarily as Reggie speaks.

"Did she really say that?" Reggie nods and mutters a soft yes.

"She's not keen on the idea of Alex and I being in relationships, but especially when it comes to Luke, she's adamant that it's bad for our publicity.."

Well that makes a lot more sense.

"What do you mean?"

"Sorry?"

"You said it makes a lot more sense. What does?"

"Oh, I said that out loud?" I laugh softly, hoping it would distract Reggie enough for him to drop the topic. "I never meant to."

"Tanna."

"Geez, the name, this must be serious." I tease playfully, trying once again, but the serious facial expression remained etched into his features.

"Yeah, because it is. Did Sharon say something to you?" I push my hails into my palms, thinking carefully about how I was going to go about answering this.

"I didn't know she said that to you guys. Luke never mentioned anything about it."

"He probably never told you, because he doesn't exactly care about what Sharon, thinks about him, or anyone else for that matter."

"I don't want to bring you guys down."

"You could never do that Tan. We definitely wouldn't even be where we are right now if it wasn't for you."

"That's not true. You guys have worked so hard, I don't want to take any part of your dream away from you. I know how important this all is to you guys, to Luke."

"Tanna, I hope you know that Luke would one hundred percent give up the record label for you, if that's what it came to."

"I would never make him do that."

"He knows that, that's one of the reasons he's so taken by you."