Destined for Greatness ✔️

Chapter 8

But Parker smelled nice, regardless. Sure, his scent didn't make her knees buckle, but she didn't mind that. Didn't mind not being swept off her feet by forces she couldn't control. He smelled like home, and that, somehow, was even better.

He didn't speak, and she was glad for it, because what would he have said? 'How are you?' He knew how she was – it was plain to see – and he also knew she didn't talk about her feelings, so there was no point in trying to ask for details either.

"You'd tell me if there was something I could do for you, right?" His voice was deep – deeper than Austin's, though Austin's voice could hit sultry depths if he tried. Goddess, Austin's voice made her crazy. Used to make her crazy. Parker's voice was smooth and pleasant and deep like the ocean. You just didn't want to hear him sing. He was a horrible singer. Could Austin sing? She didn't really know. He would hum sometimes, when he was content. She'd liked that.

"Can you turn back time?" she asked.

The floor creaked underneath them as he moved to her side. Perhaps their combined weight was too much for the boards and they would crash to the story below. Perhaps she wouldn't survive the fall. Perhaps she wouldn't mind.

"If I could, would you really change anything?"

On the street below them, a mother walked past, carrying one child in her arms and another on her back, while a third clung to her leg.

If she could turn back time, she could have made sure the Royal Wolves hadn't caught her three months ago. If she had never gone to prison, Austin would never have found her, they would never have met, Jade wouldn't have met Aaron, and everything would have been fine. She would still have her sanity, her heart would still be in one piece, no one would know the Shadow Walkers were still alive, they would still be living in their old mansion in the woods, Jade would still be with her, and they would still be plotting Alder's demise, like they had for a decade.

If she did turn back time, and if she did manage to avoid getting caught, then she wouldn't know what she missed. She wouldn't know that Austin existed. She wouldn't know she had a fated mate who drove her crazy, but who also, for the first time in her life, had made her feel truly desired. She wouldn't know that there was a different life out there. That there were options.

"You know you would have found a different way to self-destruct," Parker said. "Even if you hadn't met Austin, you still would've run away, and you would undoubtedly have gotten yourself in trouble some other way."

"And Jade would have been by my side when I did."

"Or she would have met Prince Aaron some other way. Fate does what fate wants to do, Ry."

"Until it doesn't want to do anything anymore." She stepped forward and opened the window. Chilly air brushed her hair from her face – just like Austin used to brush her hair from her face. It had started to rain, just a little. A drizzle that would fool you into thinking it wasn't all that bad, until you came home soaked to the bone. It wasn't unlike her feelings for Austin, which she had ignored until she realised that she loved him. She held out her hand, catching a few droplets on her open palm. The cobblestones shimmered below her.

"Fate didn't give up on you," Parker said. "He did."

"I don't blame him." That, perhaps, was what she hated the most. The crippling self-doubt and self-resentment that followed on getting kicked out of Midnight Moon. She wasn't used to disliking herself.

She didn't understand it, either. Didn't understand why she had to go and ruin a perfectly good thing. Sure, she had known it wasn't a viable relationship, and that sometime in the near future she would have had to reject him, but why had she driven him to do it? Why had she behaved the way she had? Why had she shut him out, shut out everyone, even her wolf?

She hadn't treated her animal counterpart right. Her wolf, peace-loving and rational as she was, didn't blame her for anything, but she ought. Ryleigh was the only one to blame for her broken heart.

"Look, you won't hear me say that you are easy to deal with," Parker said. "You're a handful. It takes a strong man to stand by your side and not get knocked over. Austin is not a strong man."

Her wolf wanted to snarl at him for speaking ill of Austin, but Ryleigh knew he had a point. Austin was kind, soft-hearted, gentle, a bookworm, all nervousness and doubt. He was like a puppy, and she was a tornado.

Parker was a strong man. There was no denying that. She cast him a quick glance, subtly enough that he wouldn't notice. He was taller – taller than her, and Ryleigh was pretty tall for a woman. He had broad shoulders, a muscled torso, big hands. He was strong-willed, too. He knew what he wanted, how he wanted it, and how he was going to get it. And he was resilient. Had been ever since the Shadow Walker massacre. He had been twelve at the time, and yet rather than break down, he had searched tirelessly for survivors. Her entire life, Parker had been the only one she had ever completely relied on. Sure, Jade was her sister and the light of her life, but Jade was also insecure and sometimes downright weak, and Parker was reliable to a fault.

"Can I be really pathetic for a second?" she asked. She kept her head angled towards the open window, eyes following the trajectory of a few droplets trickling down the glass.

"You say that like you're ever anything else."

She smiled. That, really, was another one of Parker's strengths. He always made her smile, even when she thought there was no way she would ever feel a single spark of joy again.

"I knew from the start that Austin and I were never going to work out, but I think a part of me really wanted it all the same."

"That's not pathetic," Parker said. "That's hope."

She shook her head and closed the window. "Much good it did me. I spoilt our secret, lost my sister, had my heart broken, and had to go down on my knees in front of everybody, just so I could experience hope for a hot second. And it was false hope, too."

"Maybe it taught you a valuable lesson," Parker said. "Something you can't understand yet. Fate works in mysterious ways sometimes."

"O, I learned my lesson, alright," Ryleigh said. She turned towards him, finally meeting his gaze. "I learned that nothing is permanent but hate." 

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A/N: One of the most introspective chapters I've written from Ry's perspective. Seems like rock bottom isn't that far away. Or maybe she hit it already. 

Thank you for reading <3