In Love With My Gay Best Friend

No Interference

Just in that very moment when Alex came walking up to me, the sun behind him made it seem as if he was glowing. Almost like he was a bright light, I was a moth. Well, I hope a cute moth to him, because more than ever I felt so attracted to this light coming off of him. 

"H-hi. I mean, umm, morning." I nervously spoke. That very moment hit me like a train. I was really in love with this annoying guy. I didn't know how to act now.

"Hey, you ready?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course. Let's go." I smiled, then hopped into his car.

However, not a word was uttered majority of the ride to school. For some reason, I was an insanely nervous wreck! Now that I know I like him, I can't help but be very nervous now. I can't act how I normally act around him because before I didn't understand this feeling, but now that I do... I can't do anything! What is the matter with me?

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, totally. Play something different, I don't like this song." I said just to make conversation, I didn't mind the song, but maybe something less romantic, because I don't wanna hear any love songs right now.

"You doing anything this weekend?" He asked, "Because if you aren't I wanted to see if you wanted to watch this one movie with me."

"I'd love to- oh wait. I can't this weekend. I'm going on a road trip with Ryan this weekend." 

"Oh okay, that's cool. No worries." 

God, I feel terrible about this... because I really did want to go see a movie with him now.

"Do you think we can reschedule?" I asked.

"We can, I'll have to see." 

"Oh okay, that's cool..." I said.

My heart was beating out of my chest. What Alex doesn't understand is that I just feel like I can't be myself around him anymore. I'm kinda scared to like him. I was in love with Ryan for so long. But what if it's the same with Alex. He's just really friendly and that he only wants to stay friends. What if he doesn't see me as a woman. It's all just so confusing. But as I glance over to him... I liked the way his eyes sort of sparkles. I look at the contours of his face. He's honestly very handsome, a lot more than I realized before. His hair is shorter now, so I can easily look at all of him. I started to stare at his lips for some reason.

Then I had a flashback to when he ate the French fry off my lip. I grazed my own lips once I remembered that day. The day he came to me when I thought no one else was coming for me. Things felt weird. Did I feel safe or is everything just a game?

It's hard to know when I feel like I can't fully trust him. 

I looked at him again, and he looked at me. We kept looking at each other for a moment. 

Can I trust him?

"What is it?" He asked, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He pulled into the school and parked his car. 

"Why... are you friends with me?" I asked.

He was shocked when I asked him that question. 

In this moment I was very vulnerable, but I have to know.

"Wait, where is this coming from? What do you mean?" He asked.

I looked away, "I, I just don't understand. One day you just showed up. Then you kept showing up. You barely know me. Why did you decide on me?"

"Ava, did something happen?" He grabbed my hand.

I looked back when he grabbed my hand and looked at him.