Without Her ✓

Last Time

It was so painful to see him like this. He looked surprised, he probably didn't know it was me when he let me in his apartment building. His face was swollen and wet with tears and his expression was a mix of shock, pain and sadness.

"Tessa, I thought-" He trailed off looking down before looking back up at me. His hair fell in front of his eyes and he kept his head down trying to hide the tears.

He looked like a sad puppy, I just wanted to cuddle him and never let
him go.

"Come in" He murmured stepping back for me to go in. I walked in and heard the door close before he walked in front of me. He studied my face sniffling a little. I could still see tears in his eyes, "Did you forget something here?" He asked.

"I just wanted to check up on you" I said.

What a lame excuse.

He looked down closing his eyes, "You could've just texted" He said whispering, his voice cracking a little. A tear dropped down his face and I couldn't just stand there doing nothing anymore.

"Leo" I called his name softly and wrapped my arms around him.

His shoulders shook and I could feel his tears dropping on my shirt as he had his face buried in my neck.

"I'm sorry" I said pulling back and held his face wiping his tears.

"I'm over here crying like a five year old and you-" He didn't finish his sentence.

"I couldn't even stay away from you for a few hours. I think we're both not okay"

He nodded looking down, "I'm sorry, Tess"

"It's not just your fault. Stop blaming yourself only. It's just we're not doing each other any good. Right?" I said stroking his face. I wasn't really sure if I agreed with what I was saying.

"But I feel good when I'm with you" He whispered.

Your words are so contradicting.

"We're hurting each other more than anything. It's hard now but it's going to pass. You're going to be okay" I said attempting to smile at him. 

I was just as hurt but I wanted him to at least be okay. I could handle it. The pain the heartbreak, everything. I just wanted him to be okay.

"No, I'm not" He said shaking his head, his voice shaky. He took my hands in his, "Can you stay the night?"

I sighed, "Leo-"

"Just this once. Please. It's way past midnight anyway and I want-" He stopped himself.

What was he just about to say?

I wanted to stay the night. It wouldn't hurt to be with him for a few more hours, right? Even if it made walking away harder for me, I couldn't bring myself to walk away now looking at his face, his eyes pleading me to stay as he whispered 'please' over and over again as he rubbed my hands that were still cold with his warm ones.

Maybe I could just leave in the morning while he was asleep. That way he wouldn't be able to stop me and I would feel less guilty since I wouldn't see his expression.

Yes, great idea.

"Okay" I said and saw his eyes light up, "But I don't have any clothes"

"You can borrow mine" He said without hesitating squeezing my hands in his.

I nodded and he gave me a small smile before going to his room to get clothes.

So much for breaking up with him.