"What do you deserve?"
My ex-husband asks as he squeezes my jaw with his thick fingers. His face is mere centimeters from mine. I can feel the heat from his body radiate through me.
"I deserve more than you ever gave me." I spit back at him...
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After dinner, I kissed Charlie on the head and walked out the door. I didn't say goodbye to anyone. I just left, with Jack trailing behind me.
We both sat in the back of our town car as Tom drove us home. Jack silently stared at his feet as I looked out the window.
"D." He quietly spoke as he looked to me.
"I don't wanna talk about it." I said back to him. He started to speak again but decided not to.
I didn't even want to think about it. I haven't fought with my brother in years. The last thing we had fought over was when I caught him sleeping with my college roommate, in my dorm. That was five years ago.
So much has happened in our lives that we just don't have the time to argue. We don't have the air for negativity. But apparently now we have issues. Now we are going to be cold toward each other until someone apologizes, and we both aren't good at that.
Especially if we believe we are right. We will not concede unless we believe ourselves to be wrong. That's just not who we are. When we were kids our parents had to sit us down and explain to us over and over why that was wrong, but that has never stopped, still to this day.
Now Jack and I have issues. We both loved each other, and yet he cheated. He cheated on me. The love of my life decided I wasn't good enough and slept with another woman. I am the woman who he calls the love of his life, but that doesn't change the fact that he broke my trust.
He hurt me more that anyone has. He traded our love for a quick fuck in a bathroom stall of an office building in Belgium.
Since the trust was betrayed, I don't know if I am able to grow it back.
When I look at him, I see the man that I love. The man that I would die for. But if I stared for too long, I feel the hurt I felt the day he came home. I feel the hurt I would feel if I trusted him and he cheated on me again. I feel every possibility of his mistakes. I don't want that. I don't want to hurt when I see him. But I don't want to feel the love I have for him either because it feels like a trap.
