Spindle Wood (COMPLETED)

Chapter 35

"Hey, Rem." Remus could feel himself smiling already. "What're you doing?"

"Well," Remus pushed his hair out of his eyes, "we're having a fete for the summer solstice-"

"Yeah, in a couple of months!"

"And they wanted someone to go and pick bluebells for it. So we could preserve them and string them up for the solstice." Remus toppled over backward, landing with a thump. "Ow." He could almost hear Janus trying to hold back a laugh. "Go ahead, I know you want to laugh."

"No, no, I won't." Janus sat down next to him, a feather-light hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright, Rem?"

Remus nodded. "Yeah, I'm good. Anyway," he plucked a bluebell from those he'd already picked and placed it behind Janus' ear, "one for you."

Janus reached up to touch the delicate flower, a rare smile on his face. "Go on, what does it mean?"

"What do you mean?" Remus asked, looking offended.

"You always want to tell me what this and that flower means." Janus said. "What does it mean?"

Remus looked at the ground. "Kind of hoped you wouldn't ask that." He muttered. "Um," he shook his hair away from his eyes and looked up at the sky, "among other things, bluebells mean everlasting love."

Janus stared at Remus, his eyes wide. Slowly, wordlessly, he took Remus' hand and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of it. He glanced up through his eyelashes and smiled at Remus.

If Remus had had a human heart, he probably would've felt it stop.

"Thank you, Rem." Janus said quietly. "Anyway, how is the situation at your end?"

Remus hesitated. "Not... good." He admitted. Janus shuffled about, positioning himself more comfortably. One of his hands fell onto Remus' knee and rested there.

"Want to talk about it?" Janus asked.

"Only if-"

"I promise not to kill, seriously maim or harm in anyway anyone you talk about, yeah, yeah." Janus said with a roll of his eyes. "Now come on, it's obviously bothering you."

Remus laughed a little. "How do you always know?"

"You get this little wrinkle, just here." Janus said, pressing a thumb in-between Remus' eyebrows. "It always appears when you're not feeling... well, yourself, I suppose. I don't like it." He decided. Remus laughed and batted Janus' hand away.

"Well, as long as you promise..." Remus took a breath. "Roman still won't talk to me, Virgil's still insistent I'm under an enchantment, most of the Council won't listen to me or take my ideas as of sound mind and Roman's still insistent we should have tried harder to banish you. So, it's all just a mess, I guess."

Janus didn't say anything. He just inched closer to Remus, trying to provide comfort that way.

"It's not a spell, is it?" Remus asked quietly.

"Of course it isn't." Janus said firmly. "I'd never do that to you. I'd never do that to anyone. That's such a horrid thing to live through, not even I could inflict that much torment on someone."

Remus nodded. "I know, I know, I just..." He shook his head. "Sorry, it's just with all the doubt around..."

"Rem, there's nothing to be sorry for." Janus cupped Remus' face. "There never will be, I promise."

Remus managed a small smile. "Could you promise one other thing?" Janus nodded. "Promise me this will end okay. Promise we'll get out of this together."

Janus leaned his forehead against Remus'. "I promise." Remus could hear his hesitation.

"I promise."

Janus was pacing, that phrase dancing around his mind. Elven mischief, he hated it. He hated it all.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Janus. To blind to see, to confident to care, to deaf to hear that it had all been a lie. Lies were all he knew!

And yet he'd fallen for this one. He'd let himself buy into the useless, useless hope that this one lie might actually be truth. Rather than turn his attention to more important things - his studies, his power, his control - he'd let it shift to a stupid fairy and his silly fantasies.

To honestly think that Remus could ever have... could ever have been...

He couldn't even think it. It still brought him far too much pain to wish and hope and dream.

As he paced, Janus' eye fell on a single bluebell, preserved so perfectly and yet still starting to wilt. He wanted to hurl it away, to burn it to ashes, to use every part of his magic - his anger - to destroy it. But every time he tried, he couldn't. He couldn't find the power, the words, the will to remove his gloves.

With a growl, Janus threw his power up to the ceiling instead. Thunder cracked and lightning sparked but it still wasn't enough.

Janus sat down on a window-sill. His magic was spent and still he wanted to hurt, to harm. To do something to feel less useless, more evil. More like himself.

It had been a mistake to go see Remus. Janus had known that even before he'd gone to see the damn fairy. And still, he craved Remus' company. Even if Remus couldn't bear to look at him, being close to him sated something inside Janus. Like Remus stopped him from going insane...

At least he had. But he was just a fairy now. Just some stupid fairy. And Janus had to remember that.

I hate you all. I wanted this book to be flashback free but no!
Bye,
Blaize