Band Geeks

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One afternoon Benny was playing his clarinet in the music room it sounded like a dying animal.

Just then a phone rang.

It was Abe he was the teacher in band class.

"[gasps] Abe Agnor from band class?!"

"I hear you do childcare in the daycare."

"Sometimes. Uh, how's the unibrow?"

"It's big and valuable. I'm the leader of a big fancy band now, and we're supposed to play the Super Bowl next week."

"Super bowl."

"That's right. I'm living your dreams, Benny. The problem is, I'm busy next week and can't make it. So, I was hoping you and your band could cover for us."

Benny was nervous he used to be in the marching band at high school years ago.

"Ohh, uhh, I... I, uhh..."

"I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to babysitting business now."

"Hold it! It just so happens that I don't look after kids, I do have a band, and we're gonna play that Super Bowl! How do you like that, Fancy Boy?!"

"Good luck next Tuesday. I hope the audience brings lots of... ibuprofen!"

[Abe and Benny hang up the phones.]

"I gotta drum up a marching band fast! Drum... haha... band humor."

Sonic and friends looked at the poster.

Sonic begin to read.

"Looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life? Then become part of the greatest musical sensation to ever hit Bikini Bottom. And be forever adored by thousands of people you don't know. Not to mention free refreshments. Practice begins tonight. 8:30 sharp."

Sonic and friend arrived in the music room at 8:30 PM.

Benny looked at his watch which reads 8:35 PM, he was 5 minutes late.

"Stupid music rental clerk made me late. That trilobite didn't know an oboe from an elbow. Elbow, heh, more band humor."

[Inside the music room, where everyone is there.]

They were chit chatting.

Benny got everyone to be quiet.

"Children, children, settle down! Okay, now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?"

"Do instruments of torture count?" Fang asked.

"No." 

"Is mayonnaise an instrument?" Big asked.

"No, Big, mayonnaise is not an instrument. " said Benny.

[Big raises his hand again] 

"Horseradish is not an instrument, either. "

[Big lowers his hand] 

"That's fine. No one has any experience. Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you."

[Benny laughs. Everyone stays silent.]

"When do we get the free food?" Vector asked.

"Okay, try to repeat after me."

[plays six notes] 

"Brass section, go. "

[brass section repeats badly]

"Good. Now the wind."

[wind section repeats badly] 

"And the drums."

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