Tess leads me down a hallway, a cop leading her, gray walls and darker gray carpet engulfing us, muffling the commanding tap tap tap of Tess' heels as she strides to her destination. I follow in her wake, focused on my irregular heartbeat and fending off memories. I reach down, even though I know Navy isn't beside me.
The cop stops outside a door, pressing his badge to a security lock before the metallic clink of a lock turns.
"Thank you, I can take it from here." She tells the cop.
He nods his head, slinking past us and Tess waits until his back is to us, her phone materializing in her hand as she says "I'll give you two a minute".
I don't hesitate, any thoughts of what is allowed and not allowed slip from my mind as I realize the only thing that separates me from Raf is this door. I twist the knob, pushing my way through and I'm met with a brightly lit room, a table in the center. I make note of the camera, the light on it flashes red as it hangs above us, the dampness of the cement walls that chases a shiver up my spine, but mostly I notice Raf, slumped in a chair looking small and terrified.
"Raf." I breathe this name.
His head snaps up, shock on his face as he struggles for words. "How...how did you find me?"
"Doesn't matter." I cross the room, taking the seat across from him. "Are you okay?"
And then his composure crumbles, tears swelling in his dark eyes as he pleads, "I didn't kill her, Holt, I swear." His voice is tortured, a fear that racks his frame. "She's my momma."
My heart breaks knowing full well I'd never survive losing my own mom, I can't imagine his grief. "I believe you."
I do. Raf loved his mom. But besides that he's not a killer, he's not that kind of person. He isn't evil.
"My lawyer is outside. You have to tell her everything, Raf." I beg. "I promise you can trust her."
"I didn't think anyone was going to come for me." He whispers to the table and when he raises his head, tears stream down his face. "Even if by some miracle your lawyer can get me outta here Holt, I got no one. I'm gonna be in the system."
I understand his fears. I know the risks and the horror stories that exist but I also know I found my family because of it.
"Not every foster family is bad." I defend gently.
He scoffs, his eyes rolling as his gaze meets mine with so much conviction it takes me back. "No ones gonna want me, I got a record."
"I had a record."
"You're white!" He shouts at me, anger shaking his body. "You're white Holt, no ones gonna want a black kid with a record."
I'm stunned, speechless, staring at him as his anger crumbles into fear. One thought rushes straight to the front of my mind, it's simple. It's clear, why hadn't I said it before. I know it won't be easy. But it's obvious.
"I do." It comes out low, on a breath but hearing the words leave my mouth only makes me more sure.
"What?" He frowns, his eyes wide.
"I do. You can live with me." I say, sitting straighter in the chair. "I'm not going to leave you."
A new wave of tears flood his eyes, they pool at his lashes before dropping to his cheek and he raises his cuffed hands to wipe his face on his sleeve.
It hurts, seeing him here, like this. I know this fear. I lived this fear and I wouldn't wish it on any kid.
"You just gotta trust me Raf." I plead. "You trust me?"
It's a minuscule nod of his head but it's there. "I'm scared Holt."
I swallow down the lump in my throat, trying to conjure up the confidence I wish I had. The ability to put people at ease like Drew always could.
"I know you are. Just keep your head down, stay out of trouble and listen to the lawyers." I say. "I'm gonna get you out of here, I promise."
And I mean it.
Raf and I both have monsters. I went through hell putting mine behind bars. But sitting here, across from Raf, seeing his fear and his desperation. His youth being stolen because there's too much evil in the world. I know without a doubt, I'll walk through hell and back again.
As many times as it takes.
The End
———————————
Should we wrap it up with a double update?
