Remember me...

16. The unanswered questions..

The car pulled over in front of a building Zhan knew all too well. 'Why did he bring me to his apartment?', Zhan thought and heard Yibo laugh beside him. "You don't have to be afraid. You look as if I am taking you to a witch's lair. I just wanted it to be alone with you." Only when Yibo responded did Zhan realise he had said the words out loud. "I said that out loud, didn't I?", he palmed his face and Yibo chuckled lowly. "Yes, you did. So you know where I live, huh?", Yibo teased and Zhan looked out the window, cursing himself. Spending time with Yibo was dangerous. The man got so deep into Zhan's skin the only thing on his mind was Yibo. He was even forgetting that he had been lying to Yibo. A feather light caress on his ear had Zhan shuddering and when Zhan looked to Yibo there was a soft look on Yibo's face. "Don't be afraid. I just want to talk to you and eat good food. I won't make you uncomfortable." The words had Zhan relaxing a little as he asked smiling, "So only first date stuff?" Yibo smiled at his words and nodded. "Only first date stuff." The two got out from the car and Yibo had an arm resting on Zhan's waist as they entered the private elevator and made their way to Yibo's penthouse. The light touch burned Zhan from within but Zhan welcomed the feeling because he had missed it so much. Yibo opened the doors to his house and Zhan looked around the place he had set himself three years ago. Everything was pretty much the same but a few changes had been made that Zhan approved of. His eyes wandered around and a smile came onto his face when his gaze fell on a particular spot in the spacious room. Yibo had a lamp placed in the corner of his living room and there was a small wooden figurine kept on a table beside it which resembled a pair of lovers in each other's embrace. Yibo had won the figure in an amusement park and he brought it home unwillingly but Zhan loved it. Zhan and Yibo had gotten into an argument because Zhan wanted to keep the ugly figurine in the living room and well, Yibo did not. Zhan didn't blame Yibo though. The piece of wood stuck out like a sore thumb in the immaculate room but Zhan had been adamant at placing the object on the table knowing how it ruffled Yibo's feathers. Yibo had said no again and again and the piece of wood had floated around the apartment but Zhan always brought it back to the table much to Yibo's annoyance. Zhan remembered laughing when he saw his lover's eye twitching at the sight of the wooden figure.

He must have been staring at the corner for a long time because Yibo said, "It looks a little out of place, doesn't it?" Zhan was brought to the present and he turned to Yibo, seeing a frown on Yibo's face. Zhan couldn't stop a bright smile from coming onto his lips as he looked at the man. Yibo eyed the place as if hoping the object would burst into a ball of flames with the weight of his gaze and a low laugh escaped Zhan. Yibo clearly didn't want the item in his house. Yibo wanted to remove it...he could remove it. So, why was it still in Yibo's house? "I can't bring myself to throw it away. It was kept there by someone I knew", Yibo answered his question in a dull voice but Zhan didn't miss the meaningful gaze Yibo sent his way. "You keep it there even when the sight of it makes you crazy?", Zhan asked with a watery smile and Yibo nodded. "Even when it drives me crazy." Zhan was led to the kitchen counter and when Yibo tied an apron to his waist Zhan let out a low whistle. "Didn't know you were going to cook", Zhan's words came out flat and Yibo smiled. "I'm not. I wanted you to think I did but something tells me that you already know how bad I am at it." Zhan couldn't stop himself from laughing again because calling Yibo a bad cook was an understatement. Yibo was horrible at cooking. The man couldn't make a bowl of instant noodles to save his life so, a gourmet meal was not something Zhan would get from Yibo in this lifetime. Zhan had a fond smile on his face as Yibo moved about in the kitchen, heating meals in the microwave while they made small talk. When the dishes were placed on the table, Zhan's mouth watered at the sight of the delicious items and Yibo smiled seeing Zhan enjoying the meal. They had been eating for a while and asking each other simple questions, discussing their likes and dislikes when Yibo shifted the conversation to something heavy.

"Why did you leave Beijing?", asked Yibo nestling a glass of wine and Zhan hesitated before answering. "I just needed a change of scenery. Beijing got a little...suffocating." "Why did you come back?", came the next question and Zhan smiled. "You are asking a lot of deep questions for a first date. I told you I came for my family." Zhan answered and stuffed his mouth with a piece of sweet and sour pork. "I don't believe you", Zhan heard Yibo say but didn't respond, asking Yibo a question instead. "About what Zhuocheng said, Can you tell me what's happening?", Zhan raised his eyes to Yibo's and the tenderness in Yibo's eyes had been replaced with ice. "That's not a first date question", Yibo said sharply and Zhan wiped his mouth asking another question. "Do you have any intention of ending things with Yifei?" The silence that fell upon them had Zhan's gut filling with dread. Zhan knew being with Yibo wasn't going to be easy. They had too many hurdles in their way and Zhan had hoped to talk about them with Yibo. But, from the looks of it, Yibo wasn't going to tell him anything today. Yibo clearly needed time and even though Zhan understood, he didn't like it. Sensing that he had made Yibo pull away, Zhan knew their lovely evening had come to an end. "Thanks for the dinner. It was great. I told everyone I would be back soon and it's getting late. I-" The words were cut off as Yibo stood up from his chair suddenly and Zhan gulped when Yibo came to his side. Placing a hand on the back of Zhan's chair and the dining table, Yibo leaned in cornering Zhan. "You think I will let you go so soon?",asked Yibo with a raised eyebrow and Zhan licked his dry lips, feeling nervous. "You promised you wouldn't do anything that will make me uncomfortable", Zhan reminded the man and heard Yibo's hollow laugh. "I never promised anything." Zhan eyed the man before him and when their eyed locked, Zhan decided to let go of his fear. Staring in those dark eyes Zhan reminded himself that this was Yibo. His Yibo. Yibo might have changed but he was still the man Zhan was in love with.

"You also said you wanted to talk. As soon as I asked you a question you shut me out", Zhan added patiently and when Yibo didn't say anything, he spoke gently. "I get that trusting someone with your thoughts is not what you are ready for right now. Sorry, I shouldn't have asked those questions. It's just that I wanted to know what I was getting myself into. But, it's okay." Zhan stood up from the chair slowly and Yibo eyed his movements carefully, still silent. "Let's see each other again in a few days. Maybe then you will be ready to talk. I don't want to make you uncomfortable either. If you don't want to talk, we will just eat like we did today." Zhan was proud of his unwavering words and he offered Yibo a small smile before pulling the man into his arms. He circled his arms around Yibo's neck and managed to hide his disappointment when Yibo's hands didn't come around his body. He pulled back and waved a hand to Yibo before making his way to the door. The deafening silence and Yibo's coldness did bother Zhan but Zhan knew he had to be patient. His eyes again fell on the embracing wooden figures and he turned around offering Yibo another smile. "Good night, Yibo. I enjoyed our first date." With that, Zhan left the house and called himself a cab. He would be lying if he said he was fine. He wasn't. He was in a daze the entire ride home and Zhan was hounded by questions as soon as he reached. Did Yibo hurt him? Was he okay? Will he see Yibo again? Why was he looking sad? The questions were never ending but Zhan managed to answer them. He reassured everyone that he was fine and that him and Yibo were taking it slow, trying to sound as convincing as he could. Only when he was curled up in his bed did he let his tears fall free, sadness surrounding him. There was so much distance between him and Wang Yibo and Zhan wasn't sure if they would be the same way as before ever again. The feeling was sickening but Zhan feared he was going to lose Yibo....again.