I sigh melancholically as the stewardess pours me another shot of vodka. It would be nice to have someone to enjoy it with...
-- 10 HOURS LATER --
I have landed in Germany. I can tell due to two reasons:
1. I can see the German Airport
2. I was fully conscious when the plane hit the tarmac. I'm not that drunk, okay? I have a high alcohol tolerance.
As I disembark the plane, my bodyguards escort me to my sleek black limousine, ready to take me to my hotel room. Of course, since I am rich and fancy, I booked a room in Hilton. In fact, I booked the whole top floor.
When I arrive, the receptionist takes me to my room(s). I am filled with happiness as she leaves the top floor because I can now do my favourite hobby: run around hallways and do little cartwheels while wearing my custom made ballerina tutu - all without worrying if someone would see me. I used to not care if anyone witnessed this, but I recently realised that such a performance cannot be for free, and that if anyone wants to see, they must pay. Which is why I have a concert in Moscow, in Bolshoi Theater, next month. Can't wait!
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