Jazmine
The lesbians left us with Robyn for a week.
So basically I've taken it upon myself to try to watch everyone even though Robyn insists she's got it. "Got it" my ass. She gave up on being a mother years ago I doubt she has any motherly instincts in her to even watch kids.
India has been watching her favorite show and eating her tuna snack at exactly 1pm like she always does.
Robyn sleeps on the couch with her mouth slightly open. My brother and youngest sister have put marshmallows in her mouth while she's sleeping. What a great caretaker.
"Good job." I egg on.
India is on the other couch and turns to see them. She laughs uncontrollably. This makes Robyn wake up and start choking. I have never seen my two youngest siblings running so fast in my damn life.
Robyn just stares at me as she swallows the last bits of the marshmallows.
I smirk and have my arms crossed.
India falls off the couch from how hard she's laughing. It kinda warms my heart because India barely shows emotion much.
"Damn."
"You okay?" I ask India and she laughs harder.
She laughs even harder somehow. She's red in the face.
"C'mon now. Stop laughing." Now I'm laughing.
Robyn sits up.
"Is she gonna be okay?" Robyn asks.
I nod and get India to sit up.
"Shit you gotta do that shit again." India starts back up laughing.
I just redirect her out into the back porch but she's almost my size so I struggle to drag her out.
"You need help?"
"No, I got it I can take care of my sister." I state.
I eventually get India to her feet and simmered down to a chuckle.
"Go outside, c'mon sis."
"It's okay to let me take care of y'all. I'm the adult."
My eye twitches when she says that.
"You're the adult? But when Zah and I were kids you gave us up like trash." I think out loud.
"Jazmine--"
I look up and see Zahir and Bryony peeking through the railing of the stairs. I stop moving my mouth for them.
I just walk off and go onto the back porch with India. She furrows her brow.
"Why were y'all yelling?"
"Stuff."
She comes over and hugs me tight. We've always been close since we were little. I was the one that got her to laugh, my goofy self when I fell down. Mama and mom were so happy to see her laugh and smile for the first time in a while and had me fake fall 50 times so they could take pictures of her toothless gummy smile.
"Isn't she the lady that threw you--"
"Shh, don't say nothin' else."
I shut her down.
"Can I get more tuna?" She fidgets with her hands more.
I shrug, "Ok." I say. "And I'm gonna check on Bry and Z."
India follows me inside. She heads for the kitchen while I go upstairs. I'm Auntie Ari's room, Bey and Z are by the door.
"Hey, sorry about that."
"Don't apologize ta us, apologize ta ha'!" Z says.
My face crinkles up. Never in a million years. He just doesn't understand. He was an infant when the bulk of what Robyn did, happened. He has no recollection of it unlike me.
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It's been about 2 hours since the whole scene. Zahir and Bryony are watching a kids movie and eating chips.
I head down the stairs to the living room to check on India. I see her sitting next to Robyn. India, like Zahir, was a baby too when the whole thing happened. She just sees Robyn as the lady who shows up with bad baggy eyes and unbalanced steps.
"Try it with a cracker." I see India offering Robyn a cracker with tuna on it and Robyn takes it, eating it and humming.
It takes me back to when I was little and I gave her cheese cubes and grapes together. They were actually really good especially with the purple grapes and cheddar or pepper Jack cheese.
Robyn turns around and sees me, wiping excess tears from her face. If India lets you around her, she's as sweet as can be and can make you smile hard.
For the past two hours I thought hard about forgiveness. Do I think Robyn deserves it? No. But for Zahir's sake, why be bringing that aggressive energy here?
"Hey." Robyn says.
"Hey."
I sit next to her on the couch and stare straight ahead at the show on the TV.
From the corner of my eye, India keeps feeding her tuna with crackers.
"Feed Jazz, I wanna see if she likes it."
I turn to them and take it when Robyn feeds me.
What the hell? India gets up off the couch and stims. Her stims consist of humming and pacing around.
This leaves Robyn and I on the couch together.
"Can I move that strand of hair?"
I nod.
"Y'know, Jazz, everyday I think about you and your brother."
This time I shut up instead of responding. Maybe I should give her the floor this one time.
"I wasn't well at the time and--that's no excuse because the two of you didn't ask to be here and y'all were babies at the time." She says. "But now I want to start things over."
I just look at her. Robyn will always be Robyn to me but I guess I'll give her a hug because she's trying to redeem herself.
I sort of drop into her arms and she cradles me like a baby. I just lie there emotionless. She rocks me a bit and it takes me back to when I was a toddler. Back when she was good to me.
Likewise, the more she rocks me the more I actually get tired. My eyes flutter closed and she kisses my forehead which I allow.
This feels nice. I won't lie, I feel the same way Muffin does when my mom hugs her. Stiff and scared.
India comes over and hugs Robyn's neck, "Robyn is my friend now."
"We are friends, C'mere. Let's all cuddle together."
Eventually India and I fall asleep on Robyn. For a second, I forget about King.
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Thoughts?
