My Soulmates are IDOLS Books 2+3 | 18+ [SoulBond Series]

205:trapped

She approached him then, kneeling to look and her breath caught in her throat at the sight of angry tears dripping from his eyes and spilling over his jeans. He looked so pitiful then, silently crying to himself. He fiercely tried to look away so that she wouldn't see her tears, shaking himself from her grasp with a careful tilt of his head to hide his eyes. Goddamn it, did she go too far? She panicked a little, rubbing his shoulders with careful pats. She'd never seen JieMi cry and it was a little odd seeing him sob so easily, odd to see him actually responding to her jibes.

"Aw come on, please don't cry," she said, panic laced in her voice. "I was just teasing you."

"You're right," he whispered then, rubbing his tears with his sleeves, his voice hard and soft. "I don't deserve any forgiveness. I'm an asshole, a bastard, a monster." He swallowed, steadying his cracking voice, his lips downturned as he glanced up at her then. His face was a crumpled mess of tears. "I deserve this. I didn't know how much I hurt you then. I—"

Amber interrupted him then. "I forgive you, okay?"

She'd already forgiven him a long, long time ago.

Amber was selfish and she wanted her happiness, she didn't want to hold onto a grudge that chained her at JieMi's feet. A grudge that kept her up at night and made her look at her six soulmates and think about her seventh.

She'd long decided to let go of that grudge, to let go of her hatred and anger, apology or not. And sure, she didn't get her vengeance it felt good being the 'bigger person' in the face of someone as childish as JieMi. She'd already found peace within herself, peace that JieMi could not achieve with his guilt.

"Really?" he whispered, bottom lip trembling, and in his sickness, he was so much more docile and insecure. "Y-you're always so nice to me, even after everything. How are you so kind and so damn nice? I just—" He stopped then, searching for more words to say, words that were filled to brim with his emotions. Amber couldn't help the small sad smirk from flickering over her lips.

Amber knew that JieMi was distraught over how she was acting. She no longer fuelled his dislike for her, she no longer gave him reasons to hate her. He was lost in his guilt with her kindness, and the contrast only made him feel so much worse as a person. It was her form of revenge, her kindness, and it was her way of killing him from the inside.

"It hurts me more to not forgive you," she replied. "It hurts everyone. You, me and the team. They're angry on my behalf and when they're angry their hearts hurt from the love they have for you. I don't want that."

"Y-you're wrong. They d-don't love me anymore," JieMi mumbled softly and his face crumpled at his own words, his shoulders heaving. "T-they don't like me. They only pretend to like me for work. They hate me, and I would have hated me too if I were in their position." His eyes grew dark as he gazed at his hands, fidgeting a little.

It was then when she found her heartbreaking for him, splintering and cracking at the edges. She pressed her palms to his cold cheeks, cupping his face and guiding his gaze back to her eyes. She didn't like seeing him lost in his head, and she wanted so desperately to be able to pull him out of those waters and bring him back to shore.

"They do, they love you. They were so worried for you when I told them you disappeared; Ezra was prepared to drive around the block to search for you." She snorted at her own words, shaking her head. "I'm sure they're speeding to get here. Probably yelling at each other to hurry up, you know what they're like."

"Only because they're worried for you. They don't know what I'll do to you or what I've done." The last words came out in a shaky exhale that was filled with his pain. "I-Amber," he glanced up then, eyes wet with his tears. "I didn't mean to do that to you, I tried to stop myself. I didn't want you to see me like that. The body flicker, I couldn't control myself and fuck I know that's a stupid, damn excuse but—"

"Stop." She raised a hand, shaking her head. "I consented to it, but I only let you do it because you were in pain." And because she was a horny girl who thought about JieMi's dick one too many times to be normal. "And I will do it again, if you need me to. My dad's a soul bond researcher, I know quite a bit about rabbit hybrids, and I know that you can't control yourself."

She smoothed out his hair then, brushing wet bangs from his forehead. Hybrid soul bonds were insane. They were known to consume the person with a fervent need, taking away all sense of reason and rationality. And she knew that JieMi had struggled to stop himself from succumbing to his needs. She knew that from how quickly he'd run from her in the park, and she could see that from the tears that spilt down his cheeks.

He was genuinely sorry for his actions and that was enough for her.

"But hybrid soul bonds only appear when the soul is disturbed." She glanced at him then, brows furrowed. "What are you hiding from me? You should tell me if you want the soulbond gone. We can work it out together. I promise I won't judge; I promise to try to understand."

Amber glanced at JieMi, noting the clamp of his jaw and the tic of muscle. His body tensed as he registered her words, and he fidgeted a little, opening and closing his mouth before snapping it sharp firmly. No, go huh? She sighed, letting him go as she scratched at his ears liking the way his nose twitched with delight when she rubbed a good spot.

"I'll call it a truce, just for today. We won't talk about it if you don't want to." She gave him a grim smile. There was a knock on the door and Amber strode over to open it, unlocking the latch. But just before she opened it, JieMi's voice trailed from behind her, so soft that she almost didn't catch it.

"I'm trapped. I don't know what to do."