RS#1: Product Of A Mistake (COMPLETED)

|CHAPTER 25|

Baka pagod na nga ako.

Looking back, I began doubting my whole existence. Questioning my decisions in life and the malicious series of events that took place right after the another.

At one time, I'm loved. I'm happy. Contented. But then shit will always happen.

Masyado na ba akong makasalanan?

I forgave myself years ago about my mother's death. Pero parang bumabalik na naman ang mga alaalang iyon sa akin.

Once again, I feel so responsible of what happened. And maybe these shits really are the compensation for that.

A sin that can never be redeemed.

Masyado na akong nakapinsala. Lubha na rin akong nakakasakit. Iyan ang mga naiisip ko dati pero hindi ko man lang naisip na ako na pala ang unti-unting nasasawi.

Ang saya noh?

I'm being punished tapos damay ang mga taong nasa paligid ko.

"Bakit hindi mo ituloy?" Narinig ko na naman bigla ulit ang mga bulong.

I thought I can.

Akala ko talaga ay magagawa ko na kanina.

But things were too fast to comprehend.

Kakaibang kirot ang nararamdaman ko habang nakatitig ng masama kay Daddy, pilit na hinahagod ang mahapdi kong puson.

Bigla na lang kasi siyang pumasok at nagawa akong sipain sa tagiliran before I could even move.

At first, I was concerned for the child that I was carrying. Panibagong takot ang naramdaman ko para rito.

Kaso, looking at my Dad and the position we're in— mukhang hindi lang siya ang nasa delikadong sitwasyon ngayon.

Daddy thinks that I intentionally got myself pregnant.

Na nagpabuntis ako para hindi na matuloy ang pagaaral ko ng medisina.

So it's not surprising that he'd do things.... to me at this point.

"Were you trying to kill yourself? Or were you only waiting for me to see you in that state so that I'd go soft with you?"

I never even thought of acting soft in front of him. Because I know that it won't affect him.

"Bakit pinigilan mo pa ako?" I started off, ignoring his questions. Marahan akong tumayo at napainda sa sakit nang makaramdam ako ng parang pagtusok sa tiyan ko. "Didn't you want this in the first place? We both know that you want to see me lying in front of you, with body that's as cold as ice. Alam din nating dalawa kung gaano mo ako gustong sakmalin."

"Oh please, where will this conversation go—"

"Bakit?" Bigla itong nanigas sa tanong ko. He almost looked like he lost words to say. "Kasi Daddy, ikaw na lang ang natitira kong magulang. And no parent will want the worst for their child..." I states with sincerity as I remembered the words Eiji told me before.

Nakakalungkot isipin na mamamatay akong hindi man lang napapatawad.

He coughed awkwardly before shaking his head and pulling out a gun from out of nowhere.

"Why? The day I found out how your Mom died... My mind went black. I could not hear anything else than the voice in my head." Sabay turo nito sa kanyang sentido. "It wants me to kill you slowly..."

"Y-you would go that far?" Hindi makapaniwala kong tanong.

I knew he loathed me for that.

Pero hindi ko inaasahan na nagawa niyang kalimutan na anak niya ako nang dahil lang doon.

Sa simpleng bulong lang, he will really kill me?

To that extent?

Naiiyak akong naglakad palapit sa kanya which made him point the gun at me.

"Stop or I—"

"Do it Daddy! Do it! End my misery! End YOUR misery! Because I'm tired living this life you and Mom gave me!" Nakarinig kami ng ingay sa labas ng bodega pero hindi na namin iyon pinansin pa. "Ilang beses ko na ba kailangang sabihin sayo na bata pa ako nun! Daddy! You tortured me! And I was traumatized! I was deprived! You wanted to kill me? Fuck I have more reason to kill you too! Mas mabigat pa ang rason ko because your pain-bringing was intentional! Pero alam mo anong naisip ko nung mga panahong gusto kitang mamatay? I thought that I can never kill the man who was also one of the reason I lived."

"S-st—"

"But I see that things changed now in my perspectives. Parang hindi ko na magawang sabihin na masaya akong nabuhay ako.. If I knew that I'd end up as this fucked up woman, I never would have chose to live. And I specially did not want to be your daughter... Because You. Are. Not. Worthy. To. Be. My. Father."

Nanatili itong nakatitig sa akin saka dahan-dahang kinasa ang baril niya.

"You were also not worthy of being my daughter."

Natawa ako ng sarkastiko sa kanya.

"Alam ko... Kasi in the very first place, you were never a father figure. You're some self-centered son of a bitch who thinks that things should always go his way—"

Binalot ako ng kaba at takot after he suddenly pulled the trigger.

"Ang bata." I whispered under my breath as I felt like my body was becoming heavier.

My breathing was getting harder kung kaya't unti-unti akong napapaupo sa sahig.

"A-anak!" Nang-hihina ko siyang tiningnan  na para bang pinagbagsakan siya ng langit at ng lupa. "F-fuck— I didn't want that to happe—"

"Cha!" Biglang pumasok si Tita sa bodega at takot na tiningnan ako. Si Tito naman na nasa likod niya ay deretsong sinugod si Daddy at sinuntok sa mukha.

But daddy started laughing when he saw a blood that fell from his mouth.

"Nababaliw ka na ba kuya?" Utas ni Tita habang nasa likod kami ni Tito Oscar na siyang hawak-hawak ang baril ngayon.

Sinubukang tumayo ni Daddy ngunit laking gulat namin nang kalabitin Tito ang baril na siyang tumama sa binti ni Daddy.

We thought that the day would end with just that.

But Dad said something that made Tito go all out.

Nakita ko na lang ang sarili kong ama, walang malay sa sahig at naliligo sa sarili nitong dugo.

But I did not feel any pity.

Not after hearing what he just said.

"Cyrus is dead because of you."

How did he know that it's Cyrus?