Episodic memories

Bond

I was told once that, friends come and go. That they're only here to teach you a lesson, and that once you have learned said lesson, they leave.

That is incredibly sad to me.

But I also feel like it's a lie we tell ourselves so that when these "friends" leave, it hurts less.

Real friends will stick with you. And I have seen that it's possible. For others, at least.

I see these groups of friends that have this unshakeable bond. And I envy them.

I am so jealous that they have people around them that care so much. That loves them, no matter what. They are there for each other. I crave the same bond with someone.

I am so jealous.

The fact is the older I get, the lonelier I am.

People I used to talk to daily stopped responding to my texts. I always reach out, yet they never reach out to me... Or they do so when they need something. And because I crave a bond so bad, I oblige, blind like a bat.

Worst is, I've talked to them about how many times people left me behind, not caring, and how hurt I was. I told them about how I would always be the one the reach out first, and they would leave me on "read." And I told them how I decided to stop chasing people because of how sad it made me.

And they did the same.

It feels like yelling into the abyss.

And the abyss won't even return the echo of my screams.