UNIVERSITY: A College AU

Part 1, Ch 6- Denial

You get to the lunch hall, flushed in the face for some reason. Your mind is spinning, very conscious of the phone in your pocket. It must be Bruno. You wonder what the message reads. Same as email? Or different?

You barely have an appetite, the growing feeling of anxiety taking up all the room in your stomach. You get to the table. Knowing that the read receipts are on, puts a lot of pressure on you. You could read it, but he would know. You stare at your soup.

You can barely take it. You take out your phone and check the notifications.

Your heart drops and your stomach churns.

Its just Candace. You swipe it open.

Between me and you, I think he likes you a lot, y/n. Has he texted yettttt? -C

Nope.

Dang. -C

You turn it off and resume your lunch. The pit in your stomach makes the food seem incredibly unappetizing. Does he really? Why does that make me... happy? No. He can't. That's not true. You pack up your meal, thinking.

Your professor cancels your afternoon lecture, citing the flu. Hardly a misfortune.

Candace is at classes all night. You fall back onto the couch, relieved to be alone. Pulling out your laptop. You set it on your laptop and set to working. A sting hits your heart as your thoughts drift to the laptop, the library, the hoodie... but every time you catch yourself, you pull yourself back into your essay.

Hours later, you find yourself hungry, and put your laptop down to grab something to eat. You make a sandwich, finally letting your mind wander.

You've always been terrible at identifying emotions. You are still absolutely horrified by what you saw. But you definitely... miss him, too. And clearly he really, really wants to explain it. The image of him searching the building flashes to your head. The sad green eyes, a genuine emotion you haven't seen in him yet. And in your chest... guilt? Yeah. That's guilt. Why are emotions so complicated?

There's something else there, too. A sadness of your own, almost like... grief. Like you lost something more than that soft-spoken, bouncy guy that you had only known for a couple of days. The one who invited you into his spaces, the comfortable silences. You stare at your laptop, noticing a tiny green thread stuck on one of the stickers. You remember the first time you saw his face, how it was an act of kindness where you first met. And how he took so much care to wrap it up... You pluck the thread out, looking at it carefully.

Oh.

Oh, no. Yep. That's it.

You grab a pillow, burying your face into it and collapse on the couch again. You definitely, absolutely like Bruno. Bruno and his goofy grin, his awkwardness.

How inconvenient.

You had spent so long avoiding these types of feelings. And now this guy, this equivalent of a black lab, broke all of the rules you had for yourself.

Your phone rings on full volume. You look up, seeing it on the counter. Fucking Candace. Did she forget her homework again? She anyways forgets her homework for this class. You get up, and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror on the fridge, face like a tomato, hair a mess. Yikes. Trying to smooth out the cowlicks, you press the green button without even looking and put the phone on speaker. You pull a scrunchie from your wrist, attempting to tame the mess via ponytail.

"Candace, what is it? Did you forget your fucking homework again? Or are you going to keep bugging me abo-" someone clears their voice on the other side. Shit.

"Oh. Sorry. It's me," a familiar, quiet voice interrupts. "It's Bruno." You feel your face burn and there is a heavy silence. Oops.

"Hi." More silence. You start to pace as your mind spins.

"Sorry, y/n. I, I didn't want to be a bother and you didn't see my emails," a pang of guilt hits you right in the heart. You saw them, you just ignored them. "Can we please talk?". The images you saw that night come back to your head, followed by his sad eyes.

You have to fight to keep your voice level.

"...Okay."

More silence. This was getting painful.

"There's an old gymnasium. Uh. Meet me there?"

"When."

"As soon as you can?"

"Why can't you just tell me, Bruno." This conversation hurt. Emotionally, and with the incredible awkwardness.

"It's- its easier to just show you."

"Your eyes were glowing green and you were talking to rats? What do you have in that gymnasium, more rats?" The anger bubbles up from inside you. Tears burn at your eyes.

Silence.

"I- Im sorry. I didn't mean to snap."

"No, no its ok. Please trust me. If you don't believe me still after.... then you don't have to see me again." The last part is shakey. Another pang of guilt.

"Bruno..." Your stomach flips as you weight your options. "Okay. Fine. I'll be there soon."

"Thank you. I'm sorry. And think of something you want to know."

He hangs up, and you stand there staring at the phone. What could possibly be so hard to tell you over the phone? And what the hell does he mean, something you want to know? You slip your shoes back on, grab your bag, and head out across the campus.

Its dusk when you arrive, and you watch some doves peck around the bushes. The peeling sign sits a few feet above them. This gym fell into disrepair after they decided to build a new one. Rumors flew around that they planned to make it storage... but that never happened. They just gutted it and it sat empty and unused.

With a glance around, you jiggle the doorknob to find it unlocked, take a breath, and head in. You walk down the empty hall, sidestepping some old basketballs. Your heart lifts at the sound of his muttering, and you hear his footfalls echoing around the gym before you even get to the door.

He's in the center of the massive, empty gymnasium, seemingly mumbling to himself and walking in circles. He pauses, looks up at the ceiling, then resumes his circling.

As fast as it lifted, your heart promptly sinks again as you notice some rats skitter past you into the crack in the door. You stand outside the door, hidden, peeking through the little window as the rats run up to him. Their squeaks echo against the peeling walls and broken bleachers. He picks them up gingerly.

"Well thank goodness. I was starting to get worried" he laughs at the rats, looking relieved. You look down, and realize he's holding a bucket. You strain to look, mind buzzing with how the hell to approach this. You could definitely just turn around and leave. That was a possibility. You stare back at the dark hallway.

"Y/n?" He says softly. You snap your head back around, meeting his eyes. He saw you.