The True Saint

A True Saint

        "Trust me, I wanted to throttle him many times, especially when he called me a witch."

"But you didn't." he hums through the stillness of the room. "You were meant to be a Queen, whether you believe it or not."

"I am also meant to be a Saint, but I don't see one in sight."

"I do."

I look up at him in astonishment. "You believe in Saints?"

"Magic beings who can fix the world, answer prayers, and give immortality to Otkazat'sya? No."

"But you said—"

"I said that I see a Saint. You have been my glimpse of hope, my salvation, from the first time I laid eyes on you. To me, that is what a true Saint is. They are something that we rely on when things seem bleak. Saints are hope."

'A true Saint'. That is what Mal called me too. I look into Aleksander's glimmering eyes. They seem so lively when he says the word 'hope'.

"So, no. I do not believe in magic Saints of lore. Though, the Starless Saint and the Sun Saint ruling together does make quite the fable," he laughs. I rarely get to hear his laugh, but it makes my heart flutter every time he lets it free. It is warm and silky, just like his voice.

        My amusement is interrupted when I glance out the window to a large oak tree similar to the one that Ana Kuya and Botkin were hanged in. My thoughts immediately go to the lifeless eyes of a woman who had raised me, staring back at me, telling me through death that I had failed her.

How can I be doing this? Sitting comfortably with the person that laid waste to the only home I ever had—killed the only maternal figure I had. Ana Kuya would think I am pathetic. He killed the majority of my soldiers, destroyed Novokribirsk, Keramzin, yet I am here thinking about how much I like the sound of his laugh.

I feel the sensation of hot tears stain my face, but I do not remember when they started.

"Alina?" The Darkling speaks to me, but I can only hear Ana Kuya's echo of a voice. "You are just a foolish girl chasing a dream that will only end up hurting you and everyone you love." The Darkling's hand reaches out to cup my cheek.

"No. No!" I slap his hand away. "I am sitting here acting like everything is okay, pretending that you have done nothing wrong. I can't do it anymore. I can't!"

"Alina, calm down."

"No! I have been calm. It is only now that I have started to act as I should. I should be screaming and kicking and fighting you for the rest of eternity for what you've done. Every time I close my eyes, I see the people that I've failed. They are all dead because I chose you!" All I see is red. Rage blinds my vision and there is a burning hatred coursing through my veins like never before.

"Alina, I need you to calm down."

"Why should I?!"

"Look!" he demands, putting his attention on the setting behind me.

I slowly turn my head to look away from him and gasp in awe. The bedroom is filled with burning particles in the air, like millions of tiny suns suspended throughout the room. They look like stars floating in the sky, except they burn anything they come into contact with. The clusters of stars pulse and spread apart as if they were breathing as I am. I sit there watching them. It is unlike anything I have ever seen before. They are so chaotic, yet controlled. I feel my palm tingle with energy. I look down to see my scar that matched Mal's is glowing a brilliant gold. The scar is the only thing that I have left to remember Mal by.