Feel Real

Chapter 4

After being in the hospital for six months Sammy was doing better. Daniel helped her more than the counselors did. Her family visited often but Sammy had no interest in her previous life. Her parents were going to release her after seven months but she convinced them she needed a whole year. She loved the place and knew if she left Daniel she would just become depressed again. This got me thinking, most of the teens here must not really hate it. They all probably love it more than they'd admit because it keeps them from their past lives. The one filled with judgmental people and the feeling of being trapped. And I knew, right then, that I would become like that.

Sammy explained that after the one year mark hits she hopes to have a plan. By then it will be the end of her junior year and she didn't want to go back to high school. She also didn't want to leave Daniel. So that's where Sammy stood. The outcast who was actually a genius becomes depressed and suicidal because she wasn't where she belonged. The end was typical, being depressed because of being out of place. The beginning was unseen. I knew Sammy was smart but it didn't glow off of her like Daniel. Sammy is book smart and street smart.

I sat back. I had just heard the life of Sammy within in thirty minutes and I was blown away. And now I am surrounded by two geniuses, mentally unstable teens who are going to Yale, full ride, for their smarts. Remind me not to play any game with them, fore their logical and smarts will beat me every time.

"That's my story," she said. "What's yours?" She looked me deep in the eyes. So deep I was surprised that I didn't become uncomfortable.

I shook my head and messed with my finger nails. "I don't think I am ready to explain that. Still getting used to the whole sharing thing."

Sammy rolled her eyes; a sign that she has given up. I smiled a tiny victory. I know would be proud of any battle I won against her or Daniel. My brains were not up to par with them. I was smart enough. I took AP and honor classes. But, I did not have a full ride to Yale.

"Don't think you're out of it though," she said, pointing right at me. "Soon you'll learn how to speak about your emotions and you won't have the excuse to hide under."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes at her. For someone who was depressed she had perseverance. After hearing her story I honor her as a person more. I am so glad that she became my roommate.

The mornings were our free time before being told to talk all afternoon. Sammy told me there was a workout room which excited me. Though working out sucks, it allowed me to get away.

The workout room was small. There were a few machines, treadmill included, but no weights. Weights must be an object that could be used to kill ourselves. I ignored it though and started on the treadmill. Thankfully I brought some workout clothes but they gave me tennis shoes with no laces. They take away our laces, take away weights, give us nothing in our bedrooms, but yet we get knives with dinner. I will never understand. Clearly no matter what they do people will still find a way if they have a strong enough will. Maybe someone killed themselves with the weights and that's why they're not present. Maybe it was Daniel's brother. Stop thinking, I told myself.

I don't know how long I was running for until Daniel came in. When I saw him I wanted to get off the treadmill and leave.

"Where were you at breakfast?" I asked him as he got on the machine next to me.

"Don't eat breakfast. I like to sleep in instead. Or help around." Help around. Did he mean mindless chores or literally helping people? He healed Sammy and I knew he made me feel. Did he possess the ability to make anyone feel? "Why? Did you miss me?" He asked, a cocky grin on his face. I was surprised to see him cocky, he didn't seem the type.