You Deserve Better: August Alsina Fanfic

Chapter Seven

2:05pm- Therapist Office-

I sat shaking my leg waiting to be called to the room. My nerves were all out of whack knowing I haven't seen her since I was 17. Heather was a family therapist that my mom went to when she was on drugs. I felt completely comfortable with her, she knew everything, well some things. I checked my phone to see august texting and calling me but I didn't answer.

"Ms Johnson, it's so nice to see you" Heather said walking up to me. I rose out of my seat and hugged her tightly. She smiled and led me to her office. I sat down in a chair across from her desk.

"I haven't seen you in a while" she said putting on her glasses and taking out her notepad.

"I know. I'm sorry about that" I said playing with me fingers and rubbing my palms together. I looked at me

"It's fine. I see your still fidgeting Ahmira" she said looking at me

"Yeah, it's gotten a tad bit worse since then" I said looking up at her. She nodded

"So how have you been since we last spoken before we hop right in" she asked with concern eyes. I shrugged my shoulders not knowing how to answer

"I've been..okay I guess" I said.

"Just okay. We talked about this, no half answers I want you to be able to express yourself without feeling bad about it afterwards. I'm not here to judge you" she said looking at me over her thick glasses

"I feel myself falling back into that hole again and I don't want to revisit it" I said taking a deep breath

"Are you taking your medicine" she ask. I shook my head no

"Okay we are going to take it slow okay but I want you to get a refill on those pills Ahmira" she said pointing her finger towards me. I nodded in response

"Okay so we left off on the subject about your relationships. Whether it was your mother, father, or spouse" she said reading her notes I nodded remembering.

"Yes" I said

"How do you feel about your mom right now Ahmir?" She said. I shrugged shaking my head

"You know the routine. We use our voice in this room. I want you to close your eyes and talk to her like she's here with you right now" she said. I closed my eyes taking a deep breathe and pictured her sitting across from me.

"Um I don't like that you left me" I said trying to control my emotions.

"And what else Ahmira. What do you want her to know" heather said

"I hated you for a long time because you left me, alone. Your baby girl needed you the most, and you abandoned me." I said wiping my face.

"What else Ahmira" heather said. I felt the tears build up in my eyes as I squeezed them tighter

"You didn't care about me. You made me this angry person inside, You was suppose to be there for me but you left me. You left me" I said breaking down crying. I opened my eyes to a glossy vision as she handed me a tissue.

"What about your father Ahmira" heather said getting up and rubbing my back

"He didn't care about us. He left when my mom got pregnant with me" I said wiping my tears from my face

"What emotions you feel right now?" She asked.

"Angry, sad, and lonely" I said shaking my head. "I hated myself so much because I thought I wasn't good enough for anybody. Everyone in my life left me, nobody wanted me. " I said wiping my face