Secret Desire (Nyssara FanFic)

Pour My Heart Out

From: Sara

Thank you for telling me. So, who’s the better kisser?

To: Sara

Really? You’re asking that?

From: Sara

Yeah. Why not? Humor me. You’ve upset me enough.

To: Sara

Are you asking me who’s the better kisser? Or who I’d rather kiss?

From: Sara

Just answer. Be honest.

To: Sara

YOU

From: Sara

Good night, Nyssa.

It was typical for Sara to end the conversation if she wasn’t sure about where it would eventually head to. That was something Nyssa had already observed about her, so she just let it go.

To: Sara

Good night, Sara. Sweet dreams. I’m sure I’ll dream of my light in the darkness.

My light. Was that a reference to her? Sara thought. Something warm blossomed inside her. She dreams of her like she does. She refers to her as hers. Sara doesn’t want to read too much into it, but she can’t help it. It was such a sweet thing.

That night, Sara once again dreamt of Nyssa, but this time, there was Max as well. They were there together, and Sara was just an onlooker. She watched as Nyssa would look and touch Max the way she would with her. She wanted it to stop. She wanted to shout at them, but no words were coming out of her mouth. And they would just laugh together, while Nyssa held Max in her arms. Then Nyssa started leaning in…

Sara forced herself to wake up. It wasn’t something she wanted to see. It felt like her heart was yanked a hundred times, and it was pounding really hard with an unusual ache. She can’t comprehend why she was feeling that way. Is there something that she wouldn’t acknowledge? A feeling that she’s denying exists? She can’t deal with that now. She can’t just think of herself. Not when it comes to Max, who has always been there for her.

The rest of the night, Sara couldn’t get back to sleep. She just stared up the ceiling, contemplating what she really has to do about her, Nyssa, and Max. She sat up and looked around in her room. She spotted her box. The box of letters. She took one out to read for the day. Letter 26. She unfolded the origami and read.

Hey Sara,

There are times that I wonder, what if I hadn’t had the courage to even send you a letter would you ever have noticed my existence? I can no longer imagine what my life would be without even a simple connection like this with you. I don’t even know why I was so afraid to even introduce myself to you then. You’re nice, sweet, and simply amazing.

What I think of right now is what would it be like when you find out who I am? Putting all the notes, letters, and poems aside, who would I be to you? Would I still be a stranger? A friend? Or something more? I’d rather be a friend than being nothing at all to you. I’ll be whatever you need me to be. I’ll be here for you.

~ME

Sara felt bad once more as she realized that she hasn’t been considering what this sweet writer would feel. Given that they don’t exactly know each other yet, but it’s like she has already closed out all the possibilities from him. She was seriously conflicted and in need of someone to talk to, but she had no idea who.