Dancing in the dark

Mistakes I've made

Hey everyone so last few chapter a bit sad:( almost at 400 reads so excited and currently 8 votes seriously pumped:) hope you guys are loving the story and i enjoy all your comments and feed back

All rights reserved and my story, made it all on my own, characters and situations are fictional not based on anyone:)

There was a reason Kelly was my best friend, she knew I wasn’t ok, but gave me my space, while watching me like a hawk. Coming home was the worst I avoided the lounge room and luckily the carpet was replaced the next day. I was released 5 days ago, I hadn’t seen anyone accept Kelly and I had only seen her twice, I just wanted to be left alone. I had started drinking a lot, not to get completely wasted but just enough to numb the pain. My phone was filled with unread texts and missed calls, finally they got the point and left me alone.

Today was my first day back at school, I was dreading seeing Chase and everyone again, the looks they gave me, pity, sadness, I dint need any of it. I took the last swig of vodka and grabbed my jeans a tank and one of Jake’s old hoodies, grabbed my vans and made my way out the front. I wasn’t stupid enough to drive and Kelly gave me a lift. She pulled up and I jumped in “Hey Kel” I murmured. “Dear god Becca, have some gum or something, you can smell that shit from here”. I rolled my eyes and grabbed some of her gum “Happy now” Kelly shook her head “I’d be happier if you were sober B, look I know this is you dealing and im not gonna bitch about it, but this isn’t a long term way to deal, your doing to have to figure something out soon that is healthier babes” she muttered softly.

I didn’t want to fight with her, I knew she was right, but it didn’t mean I was going to admit it. I knew I had to sort shit out but for today I was going to enjoy the numbness. We finally pulled up at the school and we walked arm in arm through the school halls, to say it was horrible was an understatement, there were whispers, people pointing and the worst of all those eyes that were filled with pity. I kept my head down and made my way to roll call.

The teachers backed off for the first two periods and I was thankful, for the most part I sat in the back and stared out the window. The bell rang and I didn’t want to move, next was English, which meant seeing Chase, I wasn’t ready for this yet.

I dragged my ass to the classroom only to have Khloe and Jas on either side of me given me a quick hug and kiss “You ok baby girl” Jas was always so caring, I nodded and faked my best smile. I was so happy Khloe didn’t drag us to our usual front and centre seats and Jas led us the back row next to the window, I smiled over at him and he gave me a quick hug “I got ya back babes, baby steps” he whispered softly.

Chase entered the room and thankfully didn’t notice me, guess he didn’t know I was here yet thank god. He looked tired, his hair was shaggy and he wasn’t dressed as cute as he usually was, he was in a pair of jeans a shirt and a blazer, very little effort for someone who always looked there best. In the back of my mind I knew I was to blame, he was worried about me and I had been blowing him off for days. Finally he looked up the back and I heard a soft gasp leave his mouth, he recovered and gave me a big grin, I smiled softly as best as I could and looked back out the window.

Chase was handing back finals papers and he finally arrived up the back he put my paper down on my desk and gently stroked my hand, I looked up and all I could see was the love he had for me in his eyes, it wasn’t helping, I pulled my hand back slowly and his face twisted in hurt. He made his way back down the front and Jas squeezed my hand softly.

 I couldn’t do this it was to much to be around him, I couldn’t handle it. I grabbed my bag and searched through it looking for a bottle of something, there had to be something. It was my lucky day there was a small bottle of Jack Daniels and thanked god someone up there was looking out for me. I didn’t care where I was or who was with me I just needed to be numb again. I took a swig and instantly felt better. Jas whacked my leg “What the fuck Jas” I yelled. He rolled his eyes at me and shook his head, obviously I was too loud and Chase stormed up the stairs. I took another swig not giving a shit if he was there or not, Jas tried to grab the bottle off me and hide it while whisper yelling at me “Damn it Becca in school really, your gonna get your ass kicked out”.

I slapped Jas across the face, I just didn’t care anymore, the look of shock across his face broke my heart, but i pushed that feeling down. “Miss White are you drinking in my classroom” Chase yelled at me, shock and hurt written all over his face “Meh, your class is boring sorry sir”. Chase grabbed my arm and pulled me out the front and out the door, he pushed me against the wall and grabbed the bottle from my hand and threw it in the bin, spilling the rest of the contents.

“Damn it Becca, I no your hurting but this, this isn’t you, what did you think you were doing in there, you don’t come here half wasted and top up during class” I looked up at him, so he did no I was here “Kelly told me Becca, you need to let us in, I’ve been patient but you aren’t handling this well ok, do you think your son would be proud to call you his mother right now”.

Pain overcame my body, then anger “How dare you bring up my baby, don’t you ever speak of him again he wasn’t yours he’s mine and now he is gone, everyone leaves me” I yelled at Chase. Suddenly I was pulled in to his arms as I cried my broken heart out, Chase whispered sweet nothings into my ear as my body shook with tears. Chase pulled his phone out and was talking to someone. A few minutes later Kelly was by my side holding me tight “Hey its ok I got you B, come on let’s get you home” she whispered in my ear as we walked slowly out to the car.

The drive home was a blur, I couldn’t stop crying, the pain was overwhelming, Kelly got me out and got me in my room and changed me into my pjs. I climbed into bed and Kelly re-appeared with some water and panadol, I nodded my thanks and took the medicine then laid down. Kelly laid next to me and wrapped her arms around me as I cried. Finally the tears stopped and I was left dry sobbing.

“Oh B im so worried about you, I thought if I let you do it on your own for a bit, you would stop the drinking on your own. I gave you your space but no more B, im with you no matter what, we all are, you just have to let us in we all love you and want to help” she whispered out, I nodded my head, I knew she was right but I didn’t want to admit it “Im sorry I messed everything up Kel, sorry I pushed you away I just didn’t want to feel anything anymore” I murmured.

Kelly sent Chase, Jake and Jas & Khloe a text telling them I was ok and asking everyone over tomorrow night, I had some serious apologising to do, I just hoped they would take it, I had been a serious bitch lately especially today.