Better Man (P.L.)

Eight.

She tried to look as composed as possible when she stepped into the hospital, despite her heart pounding against her ribcage. Her pace was slow enough to seem inconspicuous, but still fast enough for someone watching her long enough to notice the sense of urgency.

Olivia didn't even know why she was so nervous, knew she wasn't doing anything wrong. Yet nothing eased her nerves, or made the pounding in her ears lessen.

She nodded at the familiar receptionist -Carlisle's receptionist- as she passed her, the older woman giving Olivia a smile. "Something you need, Olivia?"

"Yes." She cursed herself when her voice cracked, clearing her throat. "Dr. Cullen sent me to retrieve a few things for him, his home patient in Alaska is doing worse than he thought."

"Ah. I presume you'll be driving them up for him?"

"Yes, of course." Olivia motioned to the door, quickly averting her eyes. "May I?"

"Take whatever you need, dear."

Olivia forced a smile, quickly heading into the office and closing the door behind her. She leaned onto the door and shut her eyes, breathing out deeply in relief. She took a few more deep breaths before prying herself off of the wooden door, turning on the light switch.

"Get it together, Liv." She whispered to herself, stepping further into the office and towards the cooler in the back as Carlisle had told her to do.

When she awoke to a call from the Cullen home, Olivia didn't know what to think, the panic in her chest rising. Was Bella dead? Did something happen to Paul? Did the two packs finally fight?

She answered shakily, all those questions and more swirling in her mind, only to hear Carlisle's smooth voice on the other side, asking her for a favor. It seemed that the baby was craving blood (of course it was, everyone sees it as a monster and it continues to fuel those thoughts) and Bella had consumed a bag from a stash that Carlisle set aside for her. The blood had worked and given Bella strength, but the stash was at the hospital and only three bags were at the home.

"It's imperative that you bring them for her." Carlisle had emphasized, Olivia nodding. "They are her only hope. I wouldn't ask this of you if it wasn't serious."

So, Olivia had gotten dressed and driven off to the hospital without a word to anyone. She knew that if anyone from the pack found out, and they would, Paul would be furious with her for putting herself in danger, yet Olivia could care less. At least this way, she could reevaluate the situation and check on Jacob, Seth, and Leah.

She ignored the cabinets in the office filled with prescription pain killers, fighting the gnawing in her chest that craved to be numbed once more. She focused on the task at hand, forcing herself to think of Paul and all the good that had cone since she had quit doing drugs of any sort.

Olivia's hands shook when she filled a bag with the few bags of blood Carlisle had for Bella, a combination of all her nerves hitting her. She was close to relapsing, she was worried for Bella, she craved Paul, she was breaking down. Her breathing quickened, Olivia dropping the bag and sitting on the cold floor in an effort to control herself.

"Come on, Liv, come on." She whispered to herself, her hands clutching her face. "Come on."

Her eyesight was blurry with tears, Olivia whimpering as the start of a long awaited anxiety attack hit her. This was all just too much.

She focused on her breathing, trying to slow it desperately. Eventually, it worked and the shaking lessened significantly, the tears still falling but at a less rapid pace. Olivia didn't move, however, catching her breath and wiping at her tears. Slowly, she stood able grabbed the bag, closing the cooler.

She pulled up her hood and rushed out of the office, not even bothering to say goodbye to the receptionist. She made it out of the hospital and to her car, leaving the bag in the backseat and looking into her mirror.

She didn't look good, pale and tired. Her hair was messy from when she had pulled at it and her eyes were puffy from her crying. Olivia sighed, putting her hair into a messy bun and starting the car, now desperate to finish this mission and go back to her bed.

She sped to the Cullen home and parked quickly, jumping out and jogging up the steps to the door. Before she could knock, it swung open and Jacob stood in the doorway, looking more stressed than before.

He didn't say anything, taking note of Olivia's state and pulling her into a hug. The two stood that way for a while, just holding and comforting one another while offering silent strength.

"How is she?" Olivia asked, Jacob glancing back at the home.

"Better. She can eat now, at least."

"Good, good." Olivia stepped back from his embrace, holding up the bag. "This should be everything. Let me know if you need me to get anything else."

"Thanks." Jacob took it, shoving one hand in his pocket and looking around the forest. "How are you holding up, Liv? Honestly?"

"Honestly?" Olivia chuckled dryly, messing her hair up even more. "Not so good. Haven't seen Paul in days."

"You can stay here, you know. We'll figure something out, I'm sure that Esme would be more than happy to-"

"That's nice, Jake, but I can't." Olivia cut him off, shaking her head. "They're all suffering with hunger and I'd make it worse. Besides, Paul would have a reason to attack if he felt you guys stole me away."

Jacob mustered a little laugh. "That's true. But if you feel too lonely over on the rez, just come here and Seth and I will keep you company."

"Thanks, Jake." Olivia stepped back, smiling slightly. "I'll make sure to come visit Leah."

"Hey! I said me and Seth."

"Leah's better company." Olivia called back, making it back to her car. She watched Jacob roll his eyes before stepping back inside the house and sat down in the driver's seat, relaxing. She drove home, relaxing when she made it back to La Push.

All her relief left her body when she pulled up to her home, her body stilling at the sight of her boyfriend on the porch, looking mad with worry.