Lost Change

Chapter 22

The warm sun felt nice as I glided over the river. The nights had begun to get longer and a little chilly, and it felt nicer to float over the warm updrafts around the water. Soon I would have to figure out some way to stay warm - heating rocks with my flame would help some, but it wouldn't be a complete replacement for the warmth of Susie's fur - but that was still weeks away.

Four months had gone by since... since Susie had died. Life had gradually settled back into its routines.

I had flown every morning to perform the Morning Song over Susie's grave. Kymari were often waiting to watch me, but they always stayed a safe distance away. After the flight I would drop to the ground and roll the ball around a bit. Every now and then one of the Kymari would try and approach me, but a few angry hisses and flared wings always drove them back.

The Morning Song always felt diminished somehow, in some way I could never quite put to words. Something that should have been in it was simply missing.

I would fly off for breakfast, then pass the day lazing around the forest and searching for fruits or berries that were ripe enough to grab. It was even easier to avoid the Kymari on my own, and I doubted any of them ever saw me during the day, even with them now aware I lived in the park.

When the day wore on into the afternoon I moved towards the river, swimming or flying over it, then grabbing a fish to bring back for Susie - I had spotted raccoons and other animals scavenging the fish on some nights, so I knew I would always need to bring her a new one. Contrary to my first assumptions, I never once saw a Kymari disturb anything I brought to Susie's grave.

Sometimes I would spot the hazy mirage of a Kymari's camouflage on the shore, but for the most part they would only watch my evening frolicking from beyond the tree line.

I ended each day by returning to Susie's grave. A lot of times I would find a berry there - at first they had been left on the grave itself, and I simply placed the fish next to them on the assumption the Kymari had been bringing food for Susie. But the berries had gradually moved away from the grave, and I got the hint that the berries were instead being left for me.

I had never seen berries like those before, and they were delicious. I was always excited to find one waiting for me when I landed in the small clearing. The scent of Kymari would always linger on the berry, though it seemed to be constant in some ways, as if the berries were being left for me by one particular individual rather than different ones... though I never actually saw them being left, so I couldn't be sure.

After I ate any treats that might have been present I shifted to relaxing or playing with the ball. Lyzel came a few times, accompanied by the older male... but I never managed to work up to playing with her, even though she would cheerfully talk at me when she visited. If she got too close I flew away - the memory of what had happened to Susie was still too strong, and it was just too frightening to be near any of the Kymari.

I didn't see the female Kymari. Lyzel was only accompanied by the man when I saw the child, and I never saw the woman watching when I greeted the dawn over Susie's grave.

I was glad for that. I wasn't sure what I would do if I ever saw her again. The foul oily taste that came as part of breathing fire always entered my mouth whenever I thought about it.

The loneliness I had felt the first few days after I had hatched in the lab was back. Nothing I did seemed to help it. On a few very rare occasions it became so bad that I even tried rolling the ball towards one of the Kymari that had come to watch me... but they only stopped the ball and moved carefully away. I must have hissed and chased them off so many times by that point that they were too concerned with getting close to me to join back in any game.