The Nerd Has A Boner 2: Summer Deeds

Chapter Twenty-three

"You're still nine," I whisper. He huffs to himself. Sarah laughs as she pats his back.

"What?" Audrey asks from afar.

"Nothing," we say. Max leaves us to grab some juice. Sarah and I stand at the table of gifts. My heart is beating like a clock ticking.

"Hey, let's go sit over there," I point to the couch. Sarah nods and takes my hand. We pass Betty and Max on the way to the living room. I sit with her and run a hand through my hair.

"I have a weird question for you, did you know about the whole Fredrick thing? I mean, you guys were friends," I note.

I can imagine us helping each other pack for college. What if we are putting in this effort to stay together and we don't?

"Well, you see it wasn't a friendship...but-yeah, I did. Fred is-let's not get into that. It's been on the news too much," she admits. I play with the bracelet around her hand.

"Yeah, anyone else coming to the party?" I ask. Sarah sways her leg.

"My Mother if she is allowed to be around others. Max misses her," she mumbles. I let my hand stop playing with her bracelet to touch were her cuts used to be. Where the anxiety showed. I bring my hand to rest on my own.

"Why are you so quiet? I mean, you're usually a little more social."

"There's just a lot of anxiety I'm feeling having this many people here. I don't usually favor that, but Max wanted a party and I want to celebrate," Sarah fixes her hair.

"Yeah, I remember you said that," I look at her. Her beautiful eyes just stare so lightly at me. The sun is peeking through windows in the living room that shines on her skin. Now, I have to say it now or I'll keep it in and let it bother me.

"It's crazy how summer is going by. I thought this summer would be slower for us at least. It wasn't. You made me feel better about everything but that still isn't what I can't put my tongue on," I try to explain, squeezing my hands. She gives me a confused look.

"I get that we were upset at each other and I said I'm sorry," Sarah folds her leg over the other. I watch her face twist and turn to await my answer.

"No, not that. Not even close," I brush her cheek with my hand. Her face grows even more concerned and I'm about to give her the words that I dismissed for so long but Sandy drags her to the front.

"We're dancing. Right now," she says, tugging Sarah up. I watch them go to the kitchen by the music and sway. I follow everyone there and just stand. I see Max and Audrey drinking Kool-aid together. The music isn't my thing and I had something I had to tell her. That couldn't wait.

So, I wait for her. I dance to the best of my ability with everyone else. I wait until the music turns kid-friendly again and we gather to sing Happy Birthday. I wait until we see a surprise visitor which is Sarah's mother and her caregiver. They came up behind Max, surprising him. He laughed and hugged her so tight I thought I have never hugged my Mama as tight as that. Sarah's Mother signed his book from Sarah's present when he wasn't looking.

"You're getting so big. Don't let me stop you now. Blow out the candles, Max," She smiled gingerly. Everyone clapped as he blew out the candles on his fudge cake.

After eating sliders and fudge cake for dessert, we started a conga line to his presents and watched each reaction he had. Then the party came to an end. I'm happy for him. Audrey had a good time. Sarah did too. Everyone filed out. Max brought his presents to his room and Sarah's Mom is talking to her father. Sarah followed me outside where we sat on their lawn.

"What's up?" She asks with glee in her voice. Her skin is bright and her hair looks better than before. I swallowed and gave her a nod. Then I didn't say anything at all. I couldn't just break her down again. That's not who I am.