The Nerd Has A Boner 2: Summer Deeds

Chapter Seventeen

"People can influence the way you look, talk, eat, speak, write, sleep. They can also influence what you think your self-worth is. A simple event can turn your mind upside down with no window to emotion."-Anonymous

Sandy Hill

It's a small world. I never thought I would run into Derrick. The last time we were together didn't give me hope of another time. I was wrong. He's standing tall and proud with a slight beard on his face. He has a bright smile playing on his lips from seeing me. My face turns deep rose.

"I did not think I would see you again," I say honestly. Derrick nods his head in agreement. I hear the heavy footsteps come from behind me and, I move out the way. A man from the moving company goes back down the stairs to get another box. Derrick leans himself on the edge of the wall.

"How are you?" He worriedly asked. I'm not even sure if I know how I feel. Moving has been a temporary distraction from what happened. But, my past career will always be the traumatic experience that kept me from stepping foot outside and telling anyone.

"I'm okay," I swallow thickly. The lie isn't digesting well.

"How about you?" I watch his attire again and then back to his eyes. His looks are reminding me of every time we've talked. Derrick is still Derrick.

"I'm holding up fine. I decided to move to a more secluded area. After what happened to you...I don't think I was the same again. I'm sorry," Derrick's face is cast down at the ground. I feel the need to bring his face to look at mine. To feel what I felt before everything went to shit. The chemistry we had.

"Don't feel sorry. It takes two to tango, right?" I take a brief look at a tiny window with bars to notice the change of color in the sky. It's a dark hue that fogs the other buildings.

The evening is showing its preview before the heat in the next coming days. That's the only thing filtering the bad smell in this hallway. Derrick's voice brings my attention back to him. He's standing straight now.

"Right. I'm not going to meddle and ask why you moved. It's none of my business. I'm just glad to see that you're okay. Physically," he spoke from his heart. My heart freezes cold. My lying was never great. I don't think there's a way to hide sexual assault without showing your pain. It taught me to make better choices in the worst way imaginable.

"I'll see you around, Derrick," I start to walk inside my apartment to continue unpacking. I don't want to call him my neighbor because I've missed saying his name. The British accent isn't fluent in his voice unless he's angry.

"Before you go, I want to ask you something," Derrick walks up behind me. My instincts tell me to run. The feeling of knowing he's right behind me gives me flight or fight. I turn and look at his fully-covered tattooed arms.

If I look up at his face, I might imagine he's my manager. Counseling and therapy can only do so much. I don't think a relationship is what I need. I'll drag this sweet guy with the burden of my mistakes. I'm aware that nobody needs someone who's been touched and played. I consider myself like candy. You wouldn't want a piece of candy that was broken or thrown in the garbage. You'll be disgusted and go for a new piece of candy. That's what I am.

So, whatever he has to tell me, doesn't matter. If anything, I'm saving both of our time. "Would you like to have dinner with me?" Derrick asks. I feel my body grow cold and, every one of my senses heightens.

Dinner? I've never had dinner with a guy before. I don't count my manager that sat me down forcefully to eat a rare steak that he chews obnoxiously.

The disgusting memories make no use staying in my brain. I'll have to say no. It's for the better. I have to walk away and, so does he. I hope it will be worth it.